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Loser, definitely something to avoid

If this is the best – I’m really sorry for Fort Myers Beach


I love a great breakfast – and I’ve had many. Unfortunately – that’s what I didn’t have this morning at Reece’s. Nope – this one was pretty crummy. Which happens – but what bugs me is that all over the restaurant were signs saying – “Voted best breakfast in Fort Myers Beach – 10 years in a row”.

So – what should I read into that. That folks in Fort Myers Beach have no taste? That Chez Cora needs to come down here and blow them away? That John G’s in Palm Beach doesn’t have to worry?

The location of the restaurant – which isn’t even on the beach – is in a strip mall – but then almost everything in Fort Myers is either in a strip mall or a hotel. The good news – the ‘balcony’ part overlooked a cute pond with turtles (over 25 according to the chatty waitress), a white ibis eating a delicious breakfast of freshly hatched tadpoles, and a rather odd spraying elephant fountain. And the waitress was super nice – too bad the food didn’t match her clever repartee.

My biscuit was doughy and tasteless, the grits needed butter (not supplied), the eggs weren’t cooked properly, and there wasn’t a piece of fruit anywhere on the menu. This is florida people – fruit should be a given. The best tasting thing was my foot long sausage – a tad greasy – but yummy none-the-less.

My husband’s breakfast was a country fried steak – his first – so while he couldn’t compare it – he did like it. And his poached eggs were fine – if lacking in salt. The gravy was a congealed glop that he didn’t taste, the fried potatoes were frozen and re-heated. The coffee was fine – a bottomless cup of Hazelnut. But you don’t go to breakfast to pick and choose between the good and the really not good.

Sorry people – maybe everyone else loved this place – but I thought it worse than forgettable.

Reese's Restaurant on Urbanspoon

Dawson strikes out with “The Chorus of Disapproval”


I generally enjoy the productions at Dawson – it’s a very comfy theatre with good sight lines and clean toilets (yes – I have a fixation – what can I say. Grannies need toilets – and we prefer clean ones). But this time I was very disappointed.

First the facts – this production – unlike many of the Dawson presentations – features a huge cast (I counted 20 performers on stage at one time), and runs until April 27th. So you too can get tickets and be bored. And for Dawson – the tickets are pricy. $12 each is not a fortune, but it’s a waste if the production doesn’t keep you interested. My husband walked out at intermission – along with the couple sitting to our left. I stayed for the whole thing – and was glad I did – it did improve in the 2nd half.

My favorite piece – the bar room fight scene. Not completely believable – but pretty darn good I’ll tell you. They threw punches, rolled on the floor, and even got pulled apart by the other cast members. Nicely done.

I won’t bore you with the story, but I will explain what I think went wrong. Like “Trad” and “Cornered” – this is a British play – and the young actors were directed to use british accents. That’s ok – if they do it well. But I think they found getting the accents right so challenging that they forgot they had to act as well. The result – amateur acting and difficult to understand speech. How silly is that. Had they just been directed to forget about trying to be ‘british’ – their acting skills would have carried the day. Oh well.

Always looking for something good to say – I must tell you that aside from the fight scene, the musical parts were by far the highlights. The cast mostly forgot about faking the accents when singing – and the results were a great deal more pleasant to watch and a lot easier to understand.

The house was relatively full – and based on the applause, and extremely loud laughter from the gentleman to our rear – either friends or family of the players. As it was Opening Night – they served fruit, cheese, crackers and wine after the play. I’m sure they meant it to be a treat – I thought it was a way of rewarding you for sitting through the entire disaster.

Dawson – I know you know that you can do so much better.

Kanda on Decarie – You’d think I’d know better


Some times I just amaze myself. What ever possessed me to agree to a meal at the Kanda on Decaire? I must have either been trying to drive and talk on a cell phone at the same time – or feeling totally out of it. It was never going to be good – but I have to admit I was completely amazed how bad it actually was. And there were so many customers. Do we have no taste people?

We were 3 ladies – and we arrived early – just shy of 6:00. You’d think that would mean that we’d get decent service. You’d be wrong. I have never ever been so ignored in my life. Honestly – if we’d been in a private room with the door shut and a sign outside saying – don’t enter – they couldn’t have done a better job of pretending we didn’t exist. I’m going out on a limb here and suggest that no manager was on staff that night.

Getting anyone’s attention – and we were seated quite close to the entrance and the cash – required either madly waving – or literally getting up and intercepting a wait person on their way from one part of the restaurant to another. Terrible. Just Terrible.

But it’s not about the service – or in this case – lack of service – it’s supposed to be about the food. So – the food. Not all Kanda’s are created equal – I discovered this when I tried to order a-la-carte – and was told – we only have the all you can eat option. Oh dear, guess we’ll go that route then. The ‘buffet’ list was $23.99 per person – lower because it was a Wednesday night. The list was long, lacking in description, and divided curiously into sections called A kitchen, B kitchen, C kitchen. Portions were small – 2 pieces of Maki, 1 piece of Sushi – and the warnings about charging for not finishing very clear.

This makes it a challenge to order. Since I wasn’t sure what things were – I was afraid to order in case we didn’t like it and couldn’t finish. Which turns out to be the case for the absolutely horrible fried chicken dish. I think they might have been trying for a General Tao – which for a Japanese restaurant concept is wrong, wrong, wrong.

There were some ‘edible’ dishes. The Edamame was ok, and I rather liked some of the shrimp dishes we ordered. And the Koren ‘ribs’ were excellent. But in general the sushi was old, the rice was tasteless, the service was terrible, and the tea impossible to get. Most annoying – there was no way to know if food was coming or not. We literally couldn’t tell when anything we ordered would arrive. Maybe that’s what the A, B, and C kitchen indications were about – A – you’ll get it soon, C – don’t wait up!

I have eaten many times at the Kanda on Bishop Street – they do offer a-la-carte, and that’s fine. And since I order a-la-carte – they make my sushi to order – as it should be made. But I absolutely can not recommend the Kanda on Decarie. Sorry folks. This is a place to avoid.

Kanda on Urbanspoon

Odaki – Lousy All you can eat Sushi in a Great Location


Unlike the Aikwawa – reviewed elsewhere in this Blog – the Odaki is centrally located on the Main. (For non-Montrealers who follow my Blog – that’s St. Laurent street. It’s called the ‘Main’ because when Montreal was younger – this was the dividing line between East (French) and West (English) Montreal. And all the immigrants would end up here. It’s a very cool street – worth a visit. But I digress)

The Odaki is on the ground floor – essentially right next door to Moishes Steakhouse. In fact – that’s why we ended up there – we wanted to go to Moishes – but with out reservations – it was a no.

So right off the bat they were in trouble. And totally not their fault either. We were looking for meal A – and getting meal B.

But naturally – the Odaki didn’t know that. They greeted us warmly, and sat us in the window seat, protected from the draft from the door by a folding rice paper screen. It was a relatively private spot – very nice. But it also put us a bit out of sight/out of mind. So service got slow as the restaurant got busy.

I ordered my normal – Spicy Tuna – deciding that for just one roll, there was no point going for the all you can eat special at $23. My partner decided to order a bit of this and a bit of that – to the point that we actually would have been better with the all you can eat. Oh well – next time I bring this partner – I’ll be better prepared for a mega meal.

Beside my spicy tuna – which was actually quite good – the rest of the courses and maki selections were a disappointment. The Udon noodles looked like a grey shapeless mush, the rolls were plopped down in front of us without explanation, and they were all pretty similar – and very bland. Oh well – what can you do when it’s choice B. It’s hard to find something good to say – service was at best ok, food wasn’t great, and it was expensive.

Oh well – now we know to make reservations at Moishes!

Odaki on Urbanspoon

Portovino – Lousy Italian – but such a lovely restaurant


It had been a long time since we’d last eaten at Portovino – and while my memories of it weren’t great (All I could recall was that it was BYOB and noisy) – we were hungry – it was there, we stopped.

When I walked in – my first thought was – I should come here more often. It is such a pretty restaurant in such a crazy location – right next to a Tim Hortons off highway 40. Yes I know that it part of  a tiny chain (I think there are 5 of them), but this one is the one in between my office and downtown Montreal.

http://www.portovino.ca/ – Check the one located at 1200 Trans Canada Highway – Dorval.

We were seated promptly, the waiter seemed nice, the meat presentation – while weird-looking (come on guys – hunks of meat wrapped in plastic on a board – no decor, no veggies, no nothing – this is not appetizing) was fast and efficient.

But this is supposed to be an Italian BYOB – so we opted for the Italian food. I got Lasagna Della Casa (I love a good Lasagna), my partner ordered the Scaloppine Di Vitello Al Piccata Limone. That’s thin slices of veal in a lemon sauce.

We should have gone to Tim Hortens.

The Lasagna was a huge portion (I brought about 1/3 home) – and it was bland, bland, bland. I mean – honestly. How can you not do Lasagna right. And $18. No vegetable, no salad, no nothing. My partner’s Piccata Limone was not quite as terrible, he did get a bit of pasta on the side – but it was bland and it was tasteless and it certainly wasn’t worth the price.

Sorry Portovino – the wine might be good (we brought it ourselves) – but the food was awful. It’s going to be a long time before I come back – probably about how long it will take me to forget this very unfortunate meal.

Ristorante Portovino on Urbanspoon

Just not great – Centaur Theatre does Leonard Cohen – oh dear!


Last night I spent almost 2 hours alternating between – “wow, that’s cool” and “Boring.. Totally boring”

The cause of my bipolar response – Centaur Theatre’s production of “Dance me to the on/off of Love” There were moments of brilliance interspersed with long periods of pointless but beautiful movement which left me wondering what was the point.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Leonard Cohen’s music and poetry. He is capable of flights of ideas that leave his listeners stunned in the wake. But this piece of theatre didn’t build up Leonard’s music and song – it deconstructed it. Tore it apart to create some interesting visual effects, but left me feeling sorry I’d spent the money and time to be there.

First though, let me describe the piece. Set on a completely dark stage, most effects are done by playing with lights and about 30 skulls. Musicians double as the singers, or singers double as musicians, it’s hard to tell because sometimes the music is deliberately performed off-key and breathless. My favorite pieces, and remember that in between I often dozed off (not good, Centaur – not good) were Sisters of Mercy, I’m your Man (performed with stick whips – very neat), Ring The Bell, and ‘the encore’ piece – “Coming Home”. Bottom line – Jacques Brel is Alive and Living in Paris (Mainline) or the Mahalia Jackson Musical with Renee Lee at the Segal Centre are much better bets. There is juist too much filler between the good parts in this peace for me to recommend you going to see it.

A slight disclaimer – the theatre was about 1/2 full – which isn’t good. But of the people there – plenty really seemed to enjoy the piece, including yelling out “Bravo” and giving the performers a standing ovation. Go figure. I guess that’s what makes horse races.

Trad and Cornered – 2 lousy plays in 2 Evenings. Bummer, eh?


I read with great interest Pat Donnelly’s long article in the Gazette – wondering if the fact she’d seen 4 good plays in as many night was a sign of a resurgence in the English Montreal Theatre scene. While I’m all for a resurgence – i don’t think that seeing 4 good plays in a week is a record – I’ve seen play after good play for years.

Unfortunately, while Pat saw great plays – I suffered thru 2 plays in 2 evenings that were both questionable. Both  were so slow-paced they actually had me sleeping. Not good people.

The first was ‘Cornered’ at my absolute favorite English theatre Venue – the Bain St. Michel. I’ve seen such great theatre there – and I have the greatest respect for Guy Sprung. But Cornered was directed by Paul Van Dyck – and it was a terrible let-down. For starters – the accents of the actors was so heavy – so ‘put-on’ that it left a great many of the customers the night I was there wondering what was going on. And the answer was – not much . It’s a rather pointless story, with little to recommend it, spoken by good actors putting on such heavy accents as to render the story incomprehensible to an English speaker. And if English wasn’t my first language – which was the case for most of the underwhelming small crowd of people there on Wednesday night – well – it was a complete waste of time.

My 2nd loser – the heavily advertised, and well re-reviewed ‘Trad’ at Centaur. The set was lovely, the music fun – but again – the actors put on fake Irish accents – and unfortunately – in doing so rendered huge sections of the play almost incomprehensible. I got the idea – they are both old – and thus live in a past that is more exciting than the current present. But was it absolutely necessary to tell the story in accents I didn’t understand. What is the point. It didn’t make me think better of the characters – it just made me go to sleep. Again – audience discussion tended to agree with me – This was not a great production. It wasn’t even a good one. Sorry Sidemark and Centaur. You may have delivered for Pat – but you didn’t deliver for me. Or the people sitting in front of me.

But good news – There’s more English theatre here in Montreal this week – including the Mahalia Jackson tribute at the Segal Centre that has garnered rave reviews from several of my friends. Lots to hopefully enjoy. Just please, please, please – don’t put me to sleep.

Mi Otro Yo – Kinda weird – some liked it – but not for kids


We were split on this recent offering at Tohu (see my Tohu blog a few days ago – or check out the Tohu website – http://tohu.ca/en/home.html)

For the kids in the audience – the results were rather mixed. And since there were some fairly disturbing parts of the performance – I’m not surprised.

One really neat piece that confused and upset the kids had the two very talented performers moving along a red wall – leaving their hands in place as they went. Cool effect. For a moment you’d have one head – 4 hands – and then a 5th hand would appear holding a sign. Very neat. What upset the kids was that after they were done with this piece – 3 of the ‘hands’ stayed behind. One little kid kept asking her father – but he left his hands…

In another brilliant sketch – the two actors put on a suit of clothes – creating a visual third person composed of the right hand and right leg (acting like a left leg) of one fellow  and the left hand and left leg (acting like a right leg) of the other. I think you’d have to have seen it.

Two people in our group thought the entire piece was awesome – I personally thought that there were brilliant bits – and much less brilliant bits.

Parts I didn’t care for – the tumbling with a book – yes it’s hard to do – but visually boring. And the piece I really found pointless – and way over the top disturbing – the part that involved pretending to kill a chicken – and then having the chicken come to life and ‘eat’ the guy. I guess it might have been good theatre – but I found it upsetting – and very kid-inappropriate.

Wouldn’t go to see them again – bottom line. But it wouldn’t discourage me from going to Tohu later this year when the student’s perform.

Europea Guest Chef Disappoints


The Europea has historically been one of my favorite fancy food restaurants in Montreal – it is so seldom that I’m disappointed with either the food or the service.

This said – in recent visits, things have changed. The maitre-d – who had always greeted us by name – is no longer there, and the service, while always upscale and efficient, has become clearly more ‘important’ guest oriented. It’s hard not to notice, for example, that Jerome came up stairs – greeted the groups at 4 of the tables on either side of us – and ignored us completely. I’m not that proud that I need to be greeted – but it does hurt when clearly other people at other tables rate – and you don’t. Bad boy there Jerome.

But a fancy restaurant has to be about the food – and last night (Feb 23, 2013) the Europea offered a set meal by a very famous guest chef from Argentina, Francis Mallmann. Typical of what we’d expect at Europea – every course used unique tableware, and the presentations were interesting. Unfortunately – there were no outstanding courses – and several of the offerings were pedestrian at best. At the price point – this is unacceptable. Is it too much to expect that at least one of the courses be ‘blow-you-away’ quality?

Particularly disappointing was the way they handled my allergy to goat cheese. Generally, in a restaurant of this caliber, and a chef of Mr. Mallmann’s reputation, I’d have expected that the course in question be modified so that I could enjoy it. But all they did was leave off the goat cheese. No added salt, no bit of yogurt – nothing. Clearly the chef wasn’t in the kitchen at that moment, or his sous-chefs had been instructed to not change the courses. I wouldn’t mind if my meal cost $25 – but at ten times that price – hey – add a bit of yogurt or sour cream to off-set the sweetness of the squash puree!

I think that the folks at Europea knew that Mallmann hadn’t really delivered – because when we were leaving – the maitre d asked how we enjoyed our meal. When I commented on the fact that several of the courses were disappointing – he said – “Have you eaten here before?” When I replied in the affirmative – he said – “Well, then you know our normal quality”. Enough said.

Too late to get our money back – but there’s a lesson learned. Older celebrated chefs may be just floating along on their reputations – if you want great food – look for younger chefs with something to prove.

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