Day 238 – Commandment #9 for Seniors


Growing old should have taken longer.

Question here – how ever did it go so fast. Where does the time leak away to anyway. How did the years go by so fast..

Particularly since 2020 has seemed endless.

The problem really is – how do you treasure the time when you are young? Answer – you don’t – and my telling you – as Oscar Wilde and George Bernard Shaw said – slow down and smell the roses – won’t work. Never has worked actually.

Shakespeare knew that when he penned: Youth is hot and bold, age is weak and cold; Youth is wild, and age is tame. Age, I do abhor thee; youth, I do adore thee; O, my love, my love is young!

I don’t feel weak or cold – well actually – I do feel cold often – but I don’t think it’s just my age – I’ve been cold for YEARS! Which explains my heavy socks and warm fuzzy jackets. I didn’t just start making that collection 2 years ago you know! I will admit that I only bought my electric Ski gloves 2 years ago – but that’s because it took me that long to decide they were worth the money. (Side note here – They definitely are worth it!)

As for weak – that’s what weight training is all about – combating the effect of too much couch potato action these days. I work out at least twice a week – and I’m proud of my ability to use 5 lb dumbbells, not just the 3 lb ones. (Ok – I hear you laughing – but truly it was a huge step up!)

But this isn’t about how fast time goes by – and how after 72 years – I still don’t understand how so many of those years are a blur.

I think slowing time is about picking out highlights – and low lights. Any teacher in the world will tell you – the students we remember for years are at the top and the bottom. So it’s highs and lows you recall. And I think this year might actually end up being memorable – as a low of course!

But unlike other truly solid memories – where I was when Kennedy was shot, when Diana died, my wedding to my husband of 50 + years (and counting), the births of my three kids, key moments in the lives of my kids (which are often clearer to me that key moments in my own life) – there are years that frankly flew by almost un-noticed.

It’s too late to reclaim those years – but folks – think about it. Make memories, take pictures, start today!

Signing off to give my daughter a hug – The Soup Lady

Day 237 – Commandment #8 for Seniors


Lately, you’ve noticed people your age are so much older than you.

Oh boy – is this true! I can’t BELIEVE how old some people my age seem. Clearly I’m not that old. Can’t be. I was just 20 only a few years ago (Ok – 52 years ago – but it seems like yesterday). I remember better what I was doing than than I remember what I did yesterday.

Which is probably not a great thing. At least my kids love to remind me of the things I’ve forgotten – like reminding me will make me remember.

Hint to the younger folks out there – it doesn’t work! We might nod and go – oh right, sure I remember that – but we don’t. It’s gone. Might as well not have happened. No reason to stress over it.

But back on topic – when my Dad got too ill for my sister’s and I to deal with (along with our kids, my middle sister’s brain surgery, and jobs), we had to put him into a care facility. It was a really lovely place, with a garden, nice rooms, great staff – honestly – super nice. His comment – I’m too young to belong here!

I thought he was being silly – my Dad was always one for the wry dry jokes – but now I realize that he was being honest. I look around at folks ‘my age’ and I can’t believe how old they are.

There are of course exceptions – my friend Sonia is a tip older than me – and she’s hugely active – and so is my friend Jill. And Arlene is a marvel at exactly my age. My mother-in-law is 85 – but you’d have trouble believing it. So this isn’t true of all people – but it’s true of a lot more than you think.

As a corollary to this – Younger people tend to look a LOT younger. Doctors are the worst offenders at this. I hate going in and finding that the Doctor looks to be 20.. How can he have enough knowledge to treat me? Of course the Doctors are actually the age of my kids – which is an average of 40!

So the real question is – how did my kids get so old? I’m still young, except in the morning – or as my friend Jill discovered – when shovelling snow! (Yes I warned her not to do that.. Will she listen – take a guess…)

Anyway – the cure to folks your age looking old is to simply stop looking. What I can’t see – I won’t worry about.

Signing off to put her head back in the sand – The Soup Lady

Day 235 – Commandment #7 for Seniors


Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?

That definitely sounds like a great idea – and with the toll that COVID lock-downs have been taking on folks waist lines – we could use that technology sooner rather than later!

I read somewhere that we have 3 choices during Lock-downs – to be come a drunk, a hunk, or a chunk. In my opinion, break maker should be on that list – but I guess it doesn’t have the same poetic resonance..

Re Drunk – One of my friends actually commented that she was taking out her recycling and was stunned to discover how many empty bottles of wine had gotten into it! Yikes.

Re Hunk – Yes my hubby and I are exercising more – a LOT more to be honest. Where a walk was a once a week treat, it’s now become a daily event. And we are also working out more often – thank you Zoom. So we have managed to keep the weight off – and my arms look awesome… But I’m not sure I can keep it up if I try to go back to working. Which hasn’t actually happened yet – but I have high hopes.

And of course – Re Chunk – The subject of this blog post. Weight loss is such a touchy subject – we don’t want to stress it, but we all (ok – maybe only women) would love to be a slimmer version of ourselves – even if our current version is just fine – Thank you very much!

And gaining weight when you are effectively confined indoors is way too easy to do. I have no solid advice on this topic of course – but I am hoping for that washing machine fix.

I do have one crazy suggestion to share – I never eat after I finish dinner. It takes hard work I have to say – but it’s been like that for years. At best I might treat myself to a few pieces of liquorice- but if I’m really having issues resisting the food – I brush my teeth. That tends to stop my food cravings completely.

In any case – I’m signing off now. But keep me in the loop if you ever find a machine that will create that magic fix… The Soup Lady

Day 234 – Commandment #6 for Seniors


“On Time” is when you get there.

Look – it’s not my fault I’m moving slower these days – it’s not for lack of trying or of organization – it’s often just a challenge to get my shoes on.

I lie – it’s not about getting the shoes on – it’s about finding all the things I’m supposed to be bringing with me.

Did we always travel with so much ‘junk’? Ok – having to have a Mask is rather new of course – but shoes, keys, phone, wrist watch (which fortunately helps me find my phone..), reading glasses, sun glasses, coat, scarf, hat, gloves, whatever I told whoever I’m going to see – if anyone. I mean the list is endless.

So of course I’m never on time – just gathering all the stuff I need is tough – really tough.

And then there’s the travel time. In Montreal they have torn up our roads so many times it’s virtually impossible to guess if, by some miracle, there’s no construction between me and where I want to go.

The cure – start a LOT earlier. Which given how little sleep I need – it’s not that hard to accomplish at least that part of the job. I can definitely get an early start to most jaunts.

Not that there are that many jaunts these days. And I’m so keen to get in an outing – I’m starting to count just talking a walk on my own as a jaunt. No destination, No path – but getting outside totally counts.

Ok – enough on this topic – Just get over my being late – and don’t fuss at me over it. And don’t worry about me showing up early. I always bring a book on my ipad… (Don’t you just love Libby – the free library lending book app?).

Signing off to set a timer for her next ‘jaunt’- which is going to pick up my adorable grand-daughter from Day Care. Now that’s a jaunt to look forward too. My plan is to pick her up, check out a playground – and then come home to make dinner. And I’m doing my darnedest to make it happen “On Time”.

The Soup Lady

Day 233 – Commandment #5 for Seniors


The biggest lie you tell yourself is, “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.”

Isn’t that the truth. I don’t write it down there is NO CHANCE I’m remembering it – and there’s a good chance I’ll have forgotten it – what ever it is – by the time I put down my pen.

I was never great at remembering. I’ve been using lists of ‘To Do’s’ since I was a babe in arms… ok – maybe more since I was in high school. But we’re talking at least 60 years of list making. If I had a dollar for every list…

It’s not really about the lists to be clear. It’s about the writing down for me.

When I go to class – I spend most of the class taking copious notes. Not that I’m going to refer back to those notes in most cases – for me it’s the act of writing down that used to put things firmly into my memory bank.

And that’s what has really changed as I’ve aged. We don’t write things down as often as we did before. We take notes on the computer, we record important dates on our cell phone – and even our watches are in on this acts of keeping us away from good old fashioned pens and paper.

Speaking of pens… an aside here. I always took exams in pen – not in pencil. I know – absolutely cocky of me. But true. I didn’t like the ‘correctability’ of writing with a pencil – it implied that I wasn’t confident of my first answer. And generally – I was absolutely sure I was absolutely right the first time.

I might not have BEEN right you realize – I was just sure that I was.

The problem was, I was right often enough to encourage me to continue with that cocky behavior – often to my regret.

I think one that that playing bridge has taught me – in hard and no uncertain terms – that making snap judgements isn’t always the best way to go. It can be the right thing of course, but sometimes taking just a bit more time to consider other options pays better rewards.

And aren’t better rewards what we all want?

In any case – I’m sitting here with a note pad, a scrap pad, a note book, an ipad, a computer, a cell phone and an Apple Watch – all trying hard to make sure I don’t miss appointments, I don’t forget what day it is – I can recall the time – and at the end of the day – most of what I’ve promised to do has gotten done.

Yeah Me!

Signing off to jot down yet another note (or 2 or 3..) – The Soup Lady

Day 232 – Commandment #4 for Seniors


Your people skills are just fine. It’s your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

I think this is almost the same as Commandment #3. It’s not me that’s the issue here – it’s other folks that don’t listen, don’t appreciate my brilliance, don’t give me respect.

Moral here – don’t deal with idiots clearly. Pick and choose the roles you volunteer to fill to only fill the ones that will require you to work with folks as brilliant as you are. Got it!

I could do that… Of course it would mean cutting down seriously on some of the groups I belong to – but that would mean less time on ZOOM… not a big thing perhaps.

On the other hand – I love being part of lots of groups doing interesting things – particularly now during yet another enforced lock-down. (I’m in the UK – nothing is open except essential businesses – so Grocery stores and the like)

Being part of a group is essential for my sanity. So if I have to deal with idiots – that’s the choice I’m going to make. And Maybe – Just Maybe – they aren’t really idiots at all.

Ever think of it that way?

Signing off to do the only thing she can do during the UK lock-down – take a nice long walk… While it’s grey in London – at least it’s neither cold nor snowing!

The Soup Lady

Day 231 – Commandment #3 for Seniors


You don’t need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off.

I must agree with this totally! It’s not ME that’s the problem here – it’s the world around me.

Ok – that’s pretty self-serving, particularly for me. I’m really not that sure I’m right all the time, in fact I’m often apologizing for myself. But I’ve been told that’s typical of Canadians. We apologize quickly, often, and with determination.

I once apologized to a chair – an empty chair – that I bumped into. The folks near by immediate asked – “Are you Canadian?”

So maybe this commandment isn’t as relevant to me as some of the others..

I’m stopping here. It’s not me that needs Anger Management. IF everyone just agreed with me more often, there wouldn’t be a problem at all.

Signing off to check out Anger Management sites… The Soup Lady

Day 230 – Commandment #2 for Seniors


“In Style” are the clothes that still fit.

I can hear the moans from my friends now. Yes – I don’t buy much in the way of new clothes any more. I have friends roughly my age who do buy clothes often – and I’m sure the stores bless them.

But I’m clearly not one of them. I have a pair of pants that I bought at least 5 years ago that are my ‘Traveling Pants’ – and they are perfect. Why would I want to replace them?

They have zip off legs so they become shorts. They still fit me (I haven’t changed size in years and years… just an FYI there), and they dry over-night.

Perfect for traveling. Or even for sitting cooped up in a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom flat with my daughter and her husband for 2 weeks. At least my pants were always easy to clean.

I can even wash them by hand if I’m desperate (which happens more often you can imagine when you travel on the cheap).

Jeans are the same – do they ever go out of style? I’ll admit that I’m thinking of finally retiring my 15 year old pair of size 6 jeans – they were tight when I bought them, and they do seem to be getting tighter…

But it’s not just my pants… I have a friend (Mary – you know who I mean) who was cleaning out her closet one day and found 3 tops she thought I’d love. And she was right. I love them. There’s a red one, a grey/white one, and a black one – and they fit me perfectly.

What could go ‘out of style’ in a top? Do I need today’s newest color choice to be considered well dressed?

Or are we dressing ‘up’ for our friends? Maybe the embarrassment is that our friends notice that they have seen everything in your closet before – many times.. So perhaps it’s not ‘in-style’ that excites seniors – it’s new and not recognizable by our friends.

Is well dressed even a goal in life when you are past 70? I think this is actually a contentious issue because I have several friends who still put ‘well dressed’ high on their important stuff list – but I’m not one of them.

So a vote here –

Are you still in the well dressed -need new clothing crowd?

Or are you in the if it’s still fits, it’s still in style crowd?

And are you a Senior?

Let me know!

Signing off to NOT go shopping – The Soup Lady

Day 229 – Being a Senior – Commandment #1


It’s okay to talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice.

If only my kids appreciated how expert my advice is.. I’ve had years and years and years (ok – only 72 years altogether, and some of them might have been repeats) to hone my advice.

Why won’t my kids listen?

I’ll take it one step deeper – why do they persist in thinking that ‘googling’ information is more reliable, more dependable, more correct, more appropriate, more ‘right’ – then my advice?

I have their absolute best interests at heart – and have for years. Why does that make my advice 2nd rate? And I’m not sure it counts as even 2nd rate sometimes.

There is no question – giving advice to my kids is like pouring water on a fake plant. There won’t be any growth – no matter how great the water, nor how plentiful.

But that’s not the only point of this commandment – there’s the talking to yourself issue.

Am I the only senior out there who starts every day with a cheery – good morning – get out of bed – get moving message (often aloud… if there’s no one else in the room)?

Come on – I’ll bet more of you do than don’t. And if you don’t – you should!

We all need to wake up these days to something cheery – the trust me the election news isn’t doing it for me – nor the endless videos from both camps – nor the repeated messages from government. I just wish everyone would grow up and move on!

Covid is real, it’s killing people – and while there’s news of a vaccine (yea!) – the math is pretty bad. There are 328 million Americans. At 20 million shots of vaccine a month – we’re talking 16 months to get everyone in the US vaccinated. Which end of that line do you think you and your family are going to be standing at?

Bet ya didn’t hear that number during Operation Warp Speed.

Now try to get everyone in the world a vaccine at 20 million a month (which is a challenging figure to believe to be honest) – and we’re talking 7,800 MILLION people in the word – that’s 390 months to get every one a vaccine – or 32 YEARS!

Ok – we don’t have to vaccinate everyone. But I’m not in a position to suggest who should and who shouldn’t get a vaccine.

Bottom line – I don’t think talking to myself is such a big problem.

Signing off – The Soup Lady

Day 226 – 7 Days of total Quarentine done…


And no blood on the floor. Yet. Has to be a record.

When last we chatted – I was flying into London just under the ‘total lock-down’ wire to visit my daughter, her hubby, and my grand-daughter. She had picked me up at the airport – and we’d arrived at her home (a lovely, but extremely cozy – no other term for it really – flat) in London.

The rules for foreign travellers coming into the UK is quite strict. You actually have to fill in a form giving your ‘Quarentine’ location before you board the plane – and they insist on knowing exactly how you plan to get there, if you plan to change location, who will be impacted… ya da ya da.

And they check up! Seriously. I arrived on Wednesday – Nov 4, and on Nov 5 I got a call to verify that I was where I said I’d be – that I knew that Nov 5 counted as day one, and that I wasn’t planning on moving!

Nice to know they are taking it seriously.

So – how is a week trapped in a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom, 1 living/dining/kitchen room flat in London faring?

As I said before – no blood on the floor. Has to be a good sign, right?

To say we are close is an understatement. And while the flat is well insulated for sound – I can’t find anywhere I can sit and chat with my husband or my friends that I’m not overheard by at least my daughter. Her hubby might be listening in – but at least he doesn’t comment on my comments. Privacy – not really happening here!

On the good news side – I’m in London. And my daughter is a chef (runs in the family, eh?) so the food has been really good.

And more good news side – I have my own bedroom with a proper bed. And why is this special? Because my grand-daughter is not in London. She’s ‘camping’ out at her other Grand-parents in Sutton Courtney because she can’t be exposed to me until after I’ve done the 14 day required Quarentine. So – I’ve got the 2nd bedroom. Once she returns to London – she gets her bed and bedroom back and I’ll be sleeping on a air mattress in the living/dining/kitchen room..

Why is sleeping on an air mattress in the living/dining/kitchen room a downgrade? Because it’s on the floor! And at this point in my life, getting up from the floor is a lot harder than one remembers it being even 2 years ago… But I’d do anything to be here… I can re-learn how to get up off a floor if I have to.

Sleeping arrangements aside – life in a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom, 1 main room flat is actually pretty busy. I’ve been helping my daughter out as best I can – which entails doing some data entry (ah – that long ago typing course is yet again a life-safer), some newsletter design, and learning a lot more than I did before about SEO.

She signed up for the amazing on-line E-commerce Growth Hub Program – and it’s awesomely good. I admit to being completely impressed. There’s a section on SEO that I’ve been listening to with my daughter and I am sold. These folks are inspiring, effective, efficient and super knowledgable. Man – I wish I’d known this stuff when I was running a website store.

I haven’t, unfortunately, been playing much bridge. I’m sure my bridge partners are missing me – but the time change is not working in my favor – by the time games start on the East Coast of the US – I’m eating dinner here in London. And it seems wrong to say – yup – traveled all the way here and I’m not joining you guys for dinner. So I’m back to doing the substitute route – and even that’s not working that well. I need at least 2.5 hours free time to volunteer to be a sub – and my daughter is quite capable of making sure that doesn’t happen.

I’ll be fine – the bridge can wait. And honestly – I don’t need more Black MP – I need SILVER MP – and the ACBL (that’s the group that controls bridge playing and the granting of ‘life master’s’) hasn’t offered any opportunities to earn Silver point since May. Boo-hoo.

More positive things – I’m getting very very good at using ZOOM! I’ve been able to chat with my sisters, my friends, my husband – with other bridge players – you name it – there’s a ZOOM for it. I’m on an HOA board in Vermont – no problem, we ZOOM our meetings. Want to discuss bridge hands – you got it – do a ZOOM. Man – I think I should buy stock! They must be laughing at their numbers.

Down sides of this experience – We are definitely having challenges with garbage. As I mentioned – this is a flat (condo?) in a 6 floor building in London. But there’s no garbage chute. Instead there’s a Garbage room on the ground floor – entered thru an outside doorway. But we can’t get there. We’re not supposed to leave the flat. For any reason at all. So the hallway outside and the elevator and stairs are off limits.

What do you do with the garbage and recycling piles that are building up? Answer – we’re not sure. We’ve put one big bag of garbage outside on the mini-balcony – and I’ve repackaged the recycling 4 times to make it as space efficient as I can. And it’s only week one…. I’ve suggested asking neighbors for help – but you need to be really friendly with a neighbor before you can ask them to handle your garbage for you…

I even suggested handing the garbage to a delivery guy.. but that’s a no go either. So it’s going to be building up in here…

Food is also a bit of a challenge. Since all of London is on ‘lock-down’ – available slots for grocery delivery got gobbled up quickly. When we looked last the first available date for the major on-line grocery site was late November… Not good if you need food for this week!

Fortunately – my daughter – being in the food industry – has alternative resources! She can call on friends that are Green Grocers to deliver – and The Butchery that is next door to the place she makes her sausages has offered to do a meat run (ok – I adore meat… get over it!).

We did have some run-ins. Our first attempt to get apples went afoul of our ability to understand units of measure. We thought we were getting a kilo of apples, pears, and red peppers – they sent us ONE Apple. And ONE Pear. And ONE red Pepper. Ok – lesson learned – read the units of measures carefully!

To be honest – we could have figured it out if we’d thought about the prices… but we were in a rush – and you know what happens when you rush… Clearly you end up with an order for One Apple, One Pear, and One red Pepper.

Evenings at my daughters are spent either playing board games (which I love), or watching Netflix. I admit to being rather addicted to RuPaul’s Drag Race, and we also watched some strictly British offerings like Staged. It’s a ‘lock-down’ based drama about two famous actors – David Tennant and Michael Sheen – who are trying to deal with lock-down, the impact of the pandemic, and life lived too close for too long with loved ones. I was particularly intrigued with the idea of going out into the garden and just screaming… Too bad the neighbors got nosy.. If I did that here – I’d be on a tiny balcony in full view of the world..

Not happening.

So – while I can’t say things are going smoothly – my daughter and I beg to differ – loudly – on many issues – there is no blood on the ground. Yet.

Signing off to start yet another day of lock-down… The Soup Lady