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Loser, definitely something to avoid

Day 234 – Commandment #6 for Seniors


“On Time” is when you get there.

Look – it’s not my fault I’m moving slower these days – it’s not for lack of trying or of organization – it’s often just a challenge to get my shoes on.

I lie – it’s not about getting the shoes on – it’s about finding all the things I’m supposed to be bringing with me.

Did we always travel with so much ‘junk’? Ok – having to have a Mask is rather new of course – but shoes, keys, phone, wrist watch (which fortunately helps me find my phone..), reading glasses, sun glasses, coat, scarf, hat, gloves, whatever I told whoever I’m going to see – if anyone. I mean the list is endless.

So of course I’m never on time – just gathering all the stuff I need is tough – really tough.

And then there’s the travel time. In Montreal they have torn up our roads so many times it’s virtually impossible to guess if, by some miracle, there’s no construction between me and where I want to go.

The cure – start a LOT earlier. Which given how little sleep I need – it’s not that hard to accomplish at least that part of the job. I can definitely get an early start to most jaunts.

Not that there are that many jaunts these days. And I’m so keen to get in an outing – I’m starting to count just talking a walk on my own as a jaunt. No destination, No path – but getting outside totally counts.

Ok – enough on this topic – Just get over my being late – and don’t fuss at me over it. And don’t worry about me showing up early. I always bring a book on my ipad… (Don’t you just love Libby – the free library lending book app?).

Signing off to set a timer for her next ‘jaunt’- which is going to pick up my adorable grand-daughter from Day Care. Now that’s a jaunt to look forward too. My plan is to pick her up, check out a playground – and then come home to make dinner. And I’m doing my darnedest to make it happen “On Time”.

The Soup Lady

Day 232 – Commandment #4 for Seniors


Your people skills are just fine. It’s your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

I think this is almost the same as Commandment #3. It’s not me that’s the issue here – it’s other folks that don’t listen, don’t appreciate my brilliance, don’t give me respect.

Moral here – don’t deal with idiots clearly. Pick and choose the roles you volunteer to fill to only fill the ones that will require you to work with folks as brilliant as you are. Got it!

I could do that… Of course it would mean cutting down seriously on some of the groups I belong to – but that would mean less time on ZOOM… not a big thing perhaps.

On the other hand – I love being part of lots of groups doing interesting things – particularly now during yet another enforced lock-down. (I’m in the UK – nothing is open except essential businesses – so Grocery stores and the like)

Being part of a group is essential for my sanity. So if I have to deal with idiots – that’s the choice I’m going to make. And Maybe – Just Maybe – they aren’t really idiots at all.

Ever think of it that way?

Signing off to do the only thing she can do during the UK lock-down – take a nice long walk… While it’s grey in London – at least it’s neither cold nor snowing!

The Soup Lady

Day 231 – Commandment #3 for Seniors


You don’t need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off.

I must agree with this totally! It’s not ME that’s the problem here – it’s the world around me.

Ok – that’s pretty self-serving, particularly for me. I’m really not that sure I’m right all the time, in fact I’m often apologizing for myself. But I’ve been told that’s typical of Canadians. We apologize quickly, often, and with determination.

I once apologized to a chair – an empty chair – that I bumped into. The folks near by immediate asked – “Are you Canadian?”

So maybe this commandment isn’t as relevant to me as some of the others..

I’m stopping here. It’s not me that needs Anger Management. IF everyone just agreed with me more often, there wouldn’t be a problem at all.

Signing off to check out Anger Management sites… The Soup Lady

Day 230 – Commandment #2 for Seniors


“In Style” are the clothes that still fit.

I can hear the moans from my friends now. Yes – I don’t buy much in the way of new clothes any more. I have friends roughly my age who do buy clothes often – and I’m sure the stores bless them.

But I’m clearly not one of them. I have a pair of pants that I bought at least 5 years ago that are my ‘Traveling Pants’ – and they are perfect. Why would I want to replace them?

They have zip off legs so they become shorts. They still fit me (I haven’t changed size in years and years… just an FYI there), and they dry over-night.

Perfect for traveling. Or even for sitting cooped up in a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom flat with my daughter and her husband for 2 weeks. At least my pants were always easy to clean.

I can even wash them by hand if I’m desperate (which happens more often you can imagine when you travel on the cheap).

Jeans are the same – do they ever go out of style? I’ll admit that I’m thinking of finally retiring my 15 year old pair of size 6 jeans – they were tight when I bought them, and they do seem to be getting tighter…

But it’s not just my pants… I have a friend (Mary – you know who I mean) who was cleaning out her closet one day and found 3 tops she thought I’d love. And she was right. I love them. There’s a red one, a grey/white one, and a black one – and they fit me perfectly.

What could go ‘out of style’ in a top? Do I need today’s newest color choice to be considered well dressed?

Or are we dressing ‘up’ for our friends? Maybe the embarrassment is that our friends notice that they have seen everything in your closet before – many times.. So perhaps it’s not ‘in-style’ that excites seniors – it’s new and not recognizable by our friends.

Is well dressed even a goal in life when you are past 70? I think this is actually a contentious issue because I have several friends who still put ‘well dressed’ high on their important stuff list – but I’m not one of them.

So a vote here –

Are you still in the well dressed -need new clothing crowd?

Or are you in the if it’s still fits, it’s still in style crowd?

And are you a Senior?

Let me know!

Signing off to NOT go shopping – The Soup Lady

Day 229 – Being a Senior – Commandment #1


It’s okay to talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice.

If only my kids appreciated how expert my advice is.. I’ve had years and years and years (ok – only 72 years altogether, and some of them might have been repeats) to hone my advice.

Why won’t my kids listen?

I’ll take it one step deeper – why do they persist in thinking that ‘googling’ information is more reliable, more dependable, more correct, more appropriate, more ‘right’ – then my advice?

I have their absolute best interests at heart – and have for years. Why does that make my advice 2nd rate? And I’m not sure it counts as even 2nd rate sometimes.

There is no question – giving advice to my kids is like pouring water on a fake plant. There won’t be any growth – no matter how great the water, nor how plentiful.

But that’s not the only point of this commandment – there’s the talking to yourself issue.

Am I the only senior out there who starts every day with a cheery – good morning – get out of bed – get moving message (often aloud… if there’s no one else in the room)?

Come on – I’ll bet more of you do than don’t. And if you don’t – you should!

We all need to wake up these days to something cheery – the trust me the election news isn’t doing it for me – nor the endless videos from both camps – nor the repeated messages from government. I just wish everyone would grow up and move on!

Covid is real, it’s killing people – and while there’s news of a vaccine (yea!) – the math is pretty bad. There are 328 million Americans. At 20 million shots of vaccine a month – we’re talking 16 months to get everyone in the US vaccinated. Which end of that line do you think you and your family are going to be standing at?

Bet ya didn’t hear that number during Operation Warp Speed.

Now try to get everyone in the world a vaccine at 20 million a month (which is a challenging figure to believe to be honest) – and we’re talking 7,800 MILLION people in the word – that’s 390 months to get every one a vaccine – or 32 YEARS!

Ok – we don’t have to vaccinate everyone. But I’m not in a position to suggest who should and who shouldn’t get a vaccine.

Bottom line – I don’t think talking to myself is such a big problem.

Signing off – The Soup Lady

Day 117 – Funerals during COVID-19


One of our closest friends mother died in early April – Not from Covid – and things being what they were, the funeral was delayed.

But on Sunday, July 5th – our friend decided to hold a funeral and a ‘life celebration’ for her mother.

We couldn’t really avoid going. It would be impossible to explain our absence – and despite my mis-giving on the topic, we promised to attend.

So Sunday found me in a car, heading to a funeral home in Laval, dressed sombrely as befits a funeral – and with huge butterfly’s doing the tango in my stomach.

I don’t like funerals under any conditions, but this one really had me on edge. Quebec had recently approved social gatherings for up to 50 people, and had not yet required masks to be worn indoors – so while we had our masks, I wasn’t sure what to expect at the funeral home.

Do keep in mind that today – 2 weeks later – the rules have changed. Now Masks are required for indoor gatherings – for any movement in an indoor space – but on July 5th – that wasn’t the rule.

Our friend had chosen one of the largest funeral complexes in Laval – there were at least 5 other ‘life celebrations’ being held at the same place at the same time – and attendance was significant judging by the number of cars. My comfort level was not increased…

We parked and walked to the entrance where we were greeted by an employee of the home, properly masked, who had a check-list of the day’s funerals. He directed us to first use sanitizer, and then to go the Ste-Dorothy room for our friend’s mothers memorial. Plexiglass barriers surrounded the staff desk, but the huge open 3 story high central entrance room was not barricaded. There were signs implying one-way traffic, but no one was in the main entrance.

So far, so good

But when we entered the St. Dorothy room – I panicked. I know – I never panic – but this time – I promise you – I was absolutely alarmed. My stomach did one of those scary flip-flops, and I caught my breath.

My friend had done everything expected of a ‘life celebration’. Her mother’s ashes were on display, there were pictures of her mother next to the ashes, and there was a slide show of images on a large screen.

All this I saw, but I also saw that there were about 45 people in the room, most not wearing masks – including our good friend. While the funeral home had placed chairs to prevent people from getting too close to each other – it was clear that social distancing was not happening.

Forcing myself to keep calm – and carefully keeping social distance, I moved closer to my friend, said how sorry I was for her loss, how we had to get together soon to celebrate her birthday, and then told my husband I was leaving.

And I left.

I’m definitely not ready for larger gatherings.

The Soup Lady

Day 10 & 11 – the trip home


We pack up our island hideaway – and eat a last farewell lunch on our balcony overlooking Sand, Ocean and Warm Salty Breezes.

When will I ever get back here?

They are closing the island around us – the restaurants have gone to Take-away only – the news reports are getting worse and worse, and while it’s easy to find Toilet Paper – there are no masks on the island to be found.

So we put bleach into little bottles to use for cleaning our seats on the airplanes and in the waiting area of the airport – and head out.

The airport in St. Croix is pretty much as expected – they haven’t really bought into the social distancing thing here, and no one has apparently taught them exactly how to wear a mask.

The TSA folks are clearly traditional islanders – and the mask they have been given are either on their chins or on their foreheads. I get it – these things are comfortable, but they aren’t really trying hard either.

To boot – the whole – social distance thing is a bit foreign. So some folks – like us – try to stay away from other folks, and other folks don’t mind standing in tight groups. Even on the airplane, crew members lean over to chat with other crew members. I’m sure the message will eventually get thru – even here – but for now, I’m leaving a place that still thinks this might be some kind of mainland joke – and going to a place that is already reporting over 1000 cases.

There are very few other passengers. Which explains why the earlier flight out of St. Croix to Miami was canceled. It makes no sense for airplanes to fly empty both ways – and American is obviously cutting back on all the excess flights it can afford to lose without leaving folks stranded or losing their gate privileges .

Our fairly boring flight lands us in a deserted Miami Airport and we head over to pick up our luggage and get on the shuttle to the EB hotel. I stayed there once before – they are a wonderful 4 star property near the airport – and they have the best bathrooms (aka great showers!) ever. We check in – again a rather casual attitude toward social distancing – and move in.

Our shuttle driver had listed the restaurants nearby – the one in the hotel is doing ‘carry-out’ only – and to be honest, looks closed. The one our driver described as a Latino cafe sounds the best and we walk thru deserted street to get there.

There’s a customer at the take out window – so I wait for him to move away so I can grab the menu. He signals me to move in – and I tell him – we’re social distancing – can you please back up? He laughs – but moves away. Miami just isn’t totally on the right page yet I’m seeing.

Dinner was typically Cuban – heavy handed by delicious. We eat in the room, watch a snatch of TV, then go to bed.

In the morning I enjoy the shower – for a good 20 minutes – it’s that nice – then we board the shuttle back to the airport.

Our driver tells us he’s fine – he’s been showering more often.

Our flights back to Montreal are more of the same. Empty planes, Empty airports, Empty waiting areas. I wipe down everything, stay as far from other folks as I can – and buy 16 masks when I spot them at one of the little shops that sells candy at the airport. Apparently they just got a big shipment in the day before – but with no customers – there are no sales.

Once back in Montreal – we realize that clearly folks here are taking the whole thing more seriously. Masks are now on over mouths and noses – and there’s protection set up for all the folks manning the custom booths. I wipe down the screen of the terminal we use to do our ID check – we pass thru customs, grab out suitcases – wipe them down too – and head out.

Our taxi cab is equipped with a plastic shower curtain – hastily stapled along the roof line separating the driver from us – and we have to use the tap feature on the credit card reader. This does feel like Montreal is taking the whole thing more seriously.

Once home – we realize that our darling Daughter-in-Law has done a massive amount of shopping for us – there’s food for a week, either on the counter or stacked carefully in the fridge.

She’s even bought me flowers! A glorious Hydrandia that is in riotous bloom. Lovely. We are well and truly welcomed home to start our mandatory 14 day ‘stay at home’ period. The rules are simple. No leaving your yard – for anything. No visitors. Wipe down everything that enters your home.

Sigh

Signing off – The Soup Lady

There’s a a first time for everything – we have a drunk in the house


We pick our lodging so carefully – private room, good location, right (low) price point, common space, a kitchen, non-smoking – I have a check list and I’m very cautious.

And yet – sometimes things just work out oddly.

Tonight was weird.

While doing Air BnB here in Japan and indeed all around the world, we’ve met some lovely fellow travelers and some amazing hosts. Folks from all over Europe – gals from Moscow when we were in St. Petersburg, Australians everywhere we travel, a smattering of Americans, South Koreans, South Africans – you name it, we chat them up!

And tonight’s group seemed lovely. A mother and daughter from Australia, by way of the Philippines – enjoying a long holiday during a school break. The daughter is 14 and a charmer. Smart, cute, and very well spoken. It’s her mom that’s the surprise.

We arrived back at our lodging in Osaka around 6:00 PM – tired and wanting nothing more than a glass of wine and dinner. We were the only folks there – our charming hosts live elsewhere but visit daily – so we toasted our bread, microwaved our pork chop, and opened our bottle of wine. We’d basically finished eating when the other couple arrived home. The daughter made up her own dinner, and the mom announced that she wasn’t hungry – she’d just join us for a moment.

Her conversation was very garbled – and she was telling us a lot more than we wanted to know about her life, including how she felt about her parents – who she hadn’t visited for years.

I thought she was drinking tea. It was in a coffee mug, and we’d been enjoying our tea and hot water. It wasn’t until I walked into the kitchen that I realized she had been drinking her own bottle of wine – and it was 3/4 finished!

Now her confusing and very personal dialogue made a lot more sense. She was drunk. You can’t drink 3/4 of a bottle of wine, weigh maybe 100 lbs and have no food without feeling the effects – and clearly her daughter was used to this.

Her daughter announced about midway thru one of the mother’s rants that she’d heard this before and was going to bed. She got up, washed her dish, and left.

The Intrepid Traveler and I were a bit stuck. Our room is Japanese style – so futons on the floor and no chairs. So we couldn’t really sit and read in our room. The only western chairs in our lovely Air BnB were in the common space, and so was the mom!

We tried to send our new best friend a message telling her we wanted quiet – I started using my iPad, the Intrepid Traveler started editing the pictures on her iphone. But the mom didn’t take the hint. Instead she started on a rant about folks using computers, iPhones and the like when they came to her house to visit.

I’m guessing they were tying to let her know she was going off the deep end like we were – but what can you do.

Eventually – we excused ourselves to go to bed. She continue to rattle around in the common room for a while – before she too went off the bed.

First time for everything… In the morning there was an empty bottle and 1/2 of wine in the trash. I guess her drinking didn’t stop when we left.

There’s a first time for everything..

Signing off – The weirded out Soup Lady and the Intrepid Traveler

Tokyo Subway Primer – It’s not as hard as it looks


A city of 10 Million (1/4 of the entire population of Canada) like Tokyo needs a proper subway system. And boy, does Tokyo have subways.

In fact – there are 3 major companies that run subways under, around, and in some cases above the city. So getting from point A to point B can generally be done several ways – and making a decision about which line, and what route is often a question of price vs speed.

I’ve been using the iphone app maps.me to help me get around – although to be honest, it’s more useful if I’m walking than if I’m on the subway. To use the subway, I must rely on quick reading, and slow walking!

To avoid feeling like a salmon swimming up stream among the bears – walk on the left! And that goes double for riding an escalator. This is not something I’m good at either. My natural tendency is to walk on the right – and I get bumped a lot. No wonder the Japanese think we’re awkward. We keep getting in their way because we walk on the wrong side of – well – everything.

But back to subways – The least expensive in general is the ‘Tokyo Metro System” There’s English on the signs at all the stations, and many of the stations are new. The Ginza line is currently undergoing renovation – so it has the most stations that are a challenge to navigate. The other lines are in much better condition. There are public toilets at all stations (so clean you could eat off the floors), there are well indicated elevators, and most staircases also have an escalator if not two. Clearly this is my favorite system. I particularly like their 24 hour pass – at 600 Yen, it makes sense if you are taking 3 trips or more in the next 24 hours – and that’s pretty easy to do.

The next more expensive is the Toei System – which has 4 lines. This system duplicates a lot of the Tokyo Metro System, and you can buy tickets that allow you to change from one to the other – for a price. We were standing at a station in the Toei System – and the price to go to Ikebukuro was 400 Yen. But if we walked to the nearby station that was part of the Tokyo Metro system, the price to Ikebukuro dropped to 170 Yen. A significant difference. But effectively, unless you realize you are using the subway lines of a different company, you can’t tell when switching from Toei system to Tokyo Metro system.

A note on switching lines. Even within one system – say the Tokyo Metro System – the distances from one line to the other line, officially in the same station, can easily be 250 m or more – that’s pretty far to navigate in a crowded environment. So the better if more time consuming plan is to try not to change lines if possible.

The third system, and my least favourite by far, is the JR Line. Yes – that’s the same company that runs the long distance travel and sells those rail passes. They run a subway system within the city that makes a giant circle with one line that goes out into the islands nearby. It’s not the cheap option, but if you want to go to Tokyo Disneyland, or even out to the Sea Life Park – you will find yourself on these lines. The lines are old, the elevators tiny, and there seemed to only be escalators on rare occasions, and always going the wrong way. Not a winner.

Given this complexity – it shouldn’t be a surprise that each line sells it’s own tickets. And each line sells tickets that will work on the competitors lines (no idea how that works financially), but they won’t sell the discount ticket options that include the competitors.

Now, the nice thing about the ticket machines is that they all have a language button that allows you to pick English. Some just offer English or Japanese – others offer several languages – I’m thinking one might be Chinese. Whatever – English is always an option.

Once in the English option, it’s of course easier to use the machine. And all the machines I saw offered a search by destination station name and often by destination station number. And I have to say – knowing your destination station number is a huge advantage! It’s just one letter for the line, followed by a station number. So rather than remember Ikebukuro- you can remember Y09, F09, or M25. Since you can reach Ikebukuro by 3 different Tokyo Metro lines (Y, F, or M) , as well as it being a stop on the JR line it can be confusing. But still, if you know your station name, and it’s number – that’s a huge help.

Another help when getting around by subway is to realize that most stations have signs every few feet, visible from the metro car, that give you the station name (in English and Japanese), the name of the next station in either direction (both languages) and the station numbers. This make it easy to track your progress thru the system when traveling. And there are announcements – again in both languages giving the next station name and connecting information. The problem is that the way Japanese say the names, even in English, isn’t the way we’d phonetically pronounce them. So it’s a better idea to watch the monitors! Much less confusing.

As for navigating the stations – that can be a nightmare. If you hit a station during rush hour, or even just during a busy time (lunch say), the rapidly moving crowds are daunting, truly daunting. And it is easy to get really confused and turned around. In a station like Ikebukuro there are probably several hundred different stores, not to mention 3 huge department stores and cute pop-up shops as well. Signs are everywhere – pointing you correctly to the destinations, and even giving the distances to the destination, but still – I’ve gotten really lost.

One time I ended up in what can only be called ‘Shopping Hell’. It was a sub-basement of a department store with no apparent way out and the only clothes on sale were size 0 to 3. It was mobbed with young Japanese women, and between the throngs, the garish displays, the flashing signs, and the bowing sales people – it was seriously overwhelming. I think they were as confused as why we were there as we were to be there.

My next piece of advice – learn to hug walls. The Japanese have learned this, and know that putting your back to a wall is the safest option when in a crowded environment. Near the toilets it’s not unusual to see 10 to 15 men all lined up along the wall – waiting we assume for their sig other to exit the ladies room. We learned the hard way that stopping in your tracks in the middle of a passage is a recipe for disaster. At tbe least you are going to get bumped – and I’m not so sure that you wouldn’t get trampled!

And my last piece of advice, and one I gave earlier – walk slowly. If you keep moving, even slowly, the crowds will part around you. And by walking slowly you have the time to visually identify and read the signs. They are extremely well written – giving not only the line, but often several key destinations, so if you are moving slowly, and know where you want to go, you can get there.

Bottom line – the Tokyo Metro System, in all it’s complexity, is a thing of beauty. Use it – Enjoy it – but do it slowly and on the left. Let the folks that know where they are headed flow by – take your time and you too can enjoy the voyage.

Signing off to do more traveling on the Subways of Tokyo – The Soup Lady and the Intrepid Traveler