My Daughter-in-law shared these with me – and I’m sharing with you. And you can feel free to share with your friends.
We all need some laughter in our lives right now.
Did you know that on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!
If Cats worked at Home Depot – they’d say: “Welcome – go find it yourself”
I’m glad I learned about parallelograms in Hight School Math instead of how to do my taxes. It comes in so handy during Parallelogram Season.
You drop something when you were younger, you just pick it up. When you’re older and you drop something, you stare at it for a bit contemplating if you actually need it anymore.
One way to find out if you are old is to fall down in front of a lot of people. If they laugh, you’re still young. If they panic and start running to you, you’re old.
Musings of a dog: Look at my mom outside picking up my poop. She had better wash her hands before she even thinks about touching me.
I find, these days, that most of my conversations start out with: Did I tell you this already? Or What was I going to say?
Instead of a sign that says ‘do not disturb’ I need one that says ‘already disturbed – proceed with caution!”
The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the furniture in the house is in place.
I finally did it! Bought a new pair of shoes with memory foam insoles. No more forgetting why I walked into the kitchen.
You never appreciate what you have till it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.
Heads up on this one – if you are still pro-Trump – skip to the bottom… But honestly – it’s irresistibly funny….
If Trump were Captain of the Titanic
– There isn’t any iceberg
– There was an iceberg but it’s in a totally different ocean
– The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon
– There is an ice berg but we didn’t hit the iceberg
– We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be repaired very shortly
– The iceberg is a Chinese iceberg
– We are taking on water but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat, and they are beautiful lifeboats
– Look, passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them
– We don’t have any lifeboats, we’re not lifeboat distributors
– Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats
– I really don’t think we need that many lifeboats
– We have lifeboats and they’re supposed to be our lifeboats, not the passenger’s lifeboats
– The lifeboats were left onshore by the last captain of this ship
– Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg
And my personal favourite ‘Tumpism..”:
– I’m an expert on icebergs. I’ve got lots of friends who deal with icebergs. Some of the best. Really good ice people who know ice and their forms of berginess…
Signing off to go search for more things to laugh about in these troubling and frustrating times – and hoping that you and yours are safe and healthy – The Soup Lady