Category Archives: Spiritual

Being in Bali Makes you want to…


Get a tattoo – Maybe it’s a natural result of seeing so many people wearing so little clothing – but the number of amazing tattoo’s is hard to believe. Vines on feet, flowers on wrists, entire arms, chests, legs, if there’s visible skin – it often sports an amazing tattoo. One guy actually showed me the map of Indonesia on his arm. Handy if you get lost I suppose. I think I’d prefer a GPS or a good compass.

Fast – As in not eat. Overheard at the Yoga Barn in Ubud – “I’m on the third day of my fast – and it’s not so bad. I’m a bit dizzy – but it’s ok”. My idea of a fast – missing lunch!

Drink incredibly great coffee – Yes this is the home of the Civet Cats that eat the coffee beans and poop them out – which apparently makes for a coffee you must try to believe (haven’t tried it yet) – but even the normal – $4 a kilo coffee is incredibly yummy. Guess what friends and family are getting as gifts this year…

Take most of your clothes off and DANCE – I think this is a Yoga Barn/Ubud thing – but the Estatic Dances and Sunday Dances are pretty incredible happenings. 150 to 250 people crowded into a large – but not infinite space in order to jive to the sounds of a DJ. no partners, no talking, just dance. If you try to partner, or break the rule of silence, you can expect to be quietly and quickly corrected. This is a seriously no talking activity. My favorite part – lying down afterwards and relaxing to the sound of a gamalin.

Drink delicous Iced Tea with the sugar syrup on the side – It’s hot, Ice Tea is cold – so of course this is going to work. But the tea is particularly good here – brewed and iced, not instant junk – and having the sugar syurp served on the side makes it super eady to control your sugar fix.

Really listen to the words of John Lennon’s Imagine.

Eat Gado-Gado (vegetables in peanut sauce) in a different restaurant every night to compare recipes. This is possible because food here in Bali is very cheap – $3 to $4 for a main dish if you steer clear of restaurants that look fancy. Even a fancy duck dinner (and I’ve yet to try Duck – bummer) goes for about $30 for 2 – so it’s pretty challenging to run up a bill that requires using your credit card. Just don’t do buffets (so dangerous in this climate for our poor western tummies), and steer clear of a hotel brand you recognize and you’ll be fine!

Talk to strangers – I don’t know what it is about me and traveling – but I’m constantly chatting with strangers – and they get right to the nitty gritty of what is bothering them. I promise – this happened – a woman starts telling me about her hike up Mount Batur to see sunrise, and the fact that she missed it because her son’s tummy wasn’t doing great. I asked – is your family brushing their teeth with bottled water? Answer – No. Well – says I – try that. Might help your son’s tummy. (sigh – imagine – medical advice from the uninformed to the unwary on a walk thru the rice fields. Really?? Only in Bali.)

Get rid of your aggression by having your incisor teeth filed down. This is a traditional rite of passage for Balinese teens – and while I’m not sure it works to get rid of agression – it does go a long way to explaining why food here is so often served in tiny chunks of intense flavor. No Incisors – no cutting the meat off the bone with your teeth!

Ride a Motor Bike Taxi – Again – I haven’t quite worked up the nerve to do this yet – but everyone else does it. If I’m truly brave – I might work up my nerve – or get desperate enough to do it. That almost happened the other night – It was late, I was facing an hour walk back to the Pink Lady’s Palace – and the first taxi offer was a motor bike. Saved by the guy behind him! But it was a close call.

Stand out in the warm rain – just because you can! It’s hot here – and the rain doesn’t always cool things down. So risk of chill for us northern types is pretty well nil. On the other hand – locals wear long sleeves and even sweaters at night. I’m still in shorts and a t-shirt – and sweating! What a difference getting used to a climate makes.

And most importantly – Buy a stone statue of Ganesha (elephant headed Hindu God) to bring home in your luggage – but be sure to learn the story first. Ganesha is the God of protection – and all traditional homes (and most homes are traditional) have one. He sits just inside the front gate of all compounds – and his important job is to keep out those evil spirts. And he does a pretty good job! I really wanted to buy a statue – I was hoping for a Monkey King – but Diane – source of all local info – decided that I absolutely needed Ganesha first. He’ll look great guarding the entrance to my garden at home – just hope he doesn’t find the winters too cold!

Signing off to go White Water Rafting – another must do in Bali – The Soup Lady

What a difference a day makes – More excitement on the Liveaboard!


Last night the Vegetarian showed up at my door – sobbing and needing a hug. What the? Just goes to show ya – never make assumptions about people – you are so often completely off base!

While I don’t think the Vegetarian and I would ever be best buddies – I talk way too much for her – we did find a common ground – and agreed to be friends. How cool is that!

I’ll back track a bit. At dinner, the dive masters announced that the next morning we’d be doing two really cool dives – Batu Balong and Manta Point. That was the high point. Then they announced that after the 2nd dive, we’d be joined by two more divers. They were coming by speed boat from Labaun Bajo. Oops – that messes the sleeping arrangements – big time. And how is that going to impact the buddy teams? Questions – Questions!

To review – there are only 4 cabins. The Vegetarian has one, the German has one – I’m sharing with SC, and the Sisters have a cabin. Where are we going to put 2 more people? Clearly – either the Vegetarian and German bunk together – or the new folks split up and sleep in different cabins. Either way – the Vegetarian is losing her single cabin. And she was broken up about it.

Turns out it wasn’t just that either. Her father was having surgery that day – and that was putting pressure on her. Plus – she stopped working a year ago to rebalance herself – what ever that means. She wants only positive energy in her life – and when things go against plan – it just becomes challenging to stay positive.

All of which makes me feel sorry for her of course – and part of me wants to tell her – shape up. You are 35 years old, you have enough money to travel at will in facinating places, you are healthy – get a grip. But that isn’t the whole truth – it’s hard to be alone. And I’m sure without her admiting to that issue – the lack of support network hurts. You need to be able to reach out to people and be sure in your own mind that the reaching out will be welcome. That of course is the trick – how do you know your reaching out will be greeted with concern, interest, and thoughts for your well being?

Heavy thoughts for such a beautiful place!

But things do work out. The 2 dives were amazing – more on that later – and the new couple are very experienced – and have their own dive master from Komodo Diving. So our buddy teams don’t change, which is a good thing.

As for sleeping arrangements – the German gallantly offers to move in with the Vegetarian – who can’t take the additional pressure of a change in rooms – and the couple (lets call them Aussies) gets the German’s room. Of course this morning the gal of the Aussies complained bitterly about how her bed is uncomfortable – a comment that all of us completely ignored.

And while they are seriously on the hefty side – the guy is 6’3″ and I’d guess well over 250 lbs and the gal is about 5′ 8″ and around the same weight – they are highly experienced divers, have 6 grandkids, and even better – Speak English! So, while accented, it tips the scales towards English as the main language. They also turn out to be very very funny! They completely cracked us all up talking about the Kangaroo’s in Austrialia. Turns out that she likes to take in the babies to raise when their mother’s dies – and he likes to run them over with his SUV equipped with a ‘Roo Bar’! Not only are they funny, well traveled, and English – they work full time. She manages a chain of homes for the disabled, he’s a project manager for a mining company in Austrialia. Very nice folks, and great at keep the conversation going over dinner. Their dream – to own a yacht and cruise the world – diving all the way around. Good luck to them I say!

And the Vegetarian got word that her Dad is fine. Trama over for now.

Personally – I’m going Scuba Diving.

Signing off – The Soup Lady

Life in the pursuit of Happiness


Saw a wonderful commercial this morning on TV. It was done for the Cheese marketing board here in Canada – and it argued that doing things that give you Pleasure makes life worth living. I think the actual caption was “Cheese – an Excellent Source of Pleasure”.

I was intrigued – not so much by the cheese – it looked like Brie wins hands down – probably because it’s so easy to cut – but by the concept.

Life lived in the pursuit of Happiness.

I guess it intrigued me because I just did a series of personality questionnaires for a study at my local hospital on how certain personality types handle stress – and the questions generally asked for me rate a series of statements from Totally Disagree to Totally Agree.

The questions were not generally upbeat. I feel like Killing myself appeared at least 3 times – and there was an entire series devoted to issues related to handling overwhelming emotions. As my daughter-in-law quipped – I’m probably a huge outlier in their study. But hey – they invited me to continue for 3 years. I don’t think they would have done that if my results wouldn’t be included.

Back to the pursuit of Happiness.

So what makes you happy is the first question. If you know what gives you personally pleasure – it’s much easier to figure out what to do to get more of the same.

For me – travel (well not the TRAVEL part – but the being somewhere new and different part) is hugely enjoyable. I love seeing new places, visiting new museums (or even old ones with new exhibits). And you know what totally makes my day – exploring new transit systems.

I loved it when we were learning how to use the metro system in South Korea – it was a hoot to see the different stations, to observe how people in South Korea behave when doing their normal getting from here to there routines. Particularly fun – sitting with the older citizens in the reserved seats – and seeing how they knew each other. And watching them compete for least infirm. You take the seat – no you take the seat – no, I’m clearly in better shape then you – it’s yours. Too funny!

All of which leads me to the subject of my next big trip.

I’m going to Bali – Indonesia. And I’m already loving it – because in Indonesia – I’m a millionaire – a 5 millionaire to be exact. And it only cost me $500 Canadian. But my friend says it’s easy come, easy go.

Well – I’m going to revel in my new status for at least a few days, thank you.

Signing off – The newly minted millionaire – The Soup Lady

News from the Bird House


Mr. and Mrs. Cardinal dropped by today to say hi – and grab a quick snack at my bird feeder. Officially part of the Grosbeak family – named such for their large beaks (Gross Beak – get it!) – they look amazing silhouetted against the literally tons of snow in my back yard.

It’s been a long hard winter here in Canada – and while we should really be used to this – it does happen every year people – somehow as I get older, winter seems to get longer and longer.

But today – sitting as I am in my warm house admiring the glistening white snow and startling red birds at my feeder – it’s a tad hard to work up to a good complaint.

Ok – minus anything on a thermometer is probably not wonderful for outdoor activities, but when the snow glistens and every animal track is highlighted by it’s shadows – well – its so stunningly beautiful I really can’t imagine wanting to live somewhere else.

Enough about the weather already – I did want to update my loyal readers on the happenings around my bird feeder!

My daughter accuses me of favoring beauty over brains – because I bought a fab squirrel baffle – the first in my long search for squirrel proof that actually works. It’s actually a Raccoon Baffle – and that should immediately tell you that my squirrels are the hard core type. Even though it’s been defeating them for months – they still occasionally get inspired to check it out. The Baffle is a long (about 2.5 foot) empty cylinder that is about 10″ in diameter. In balances on a disk that is screwed tight to the pole that holds the feeders – and hangs down. It is sufficiently large to keep animals from climbing up the outside – and of course there is nothing inside to do or see or eat. So several times a day a brave squirrel will scramble up the pole – peek into the cylinder – then slide down and give me a dirty look. Fortunately for me – and the squirrels – birds aren’t really neat eaters – so there’s plenty of seeds scattered on the ground around the pole – so no one is really going that hungry.

On to the birds – I know – I’m not much of a birder. Ok – actually – I’m a terrible birder. I can see the color (red – cardinal, blue – blue jay), but little brown birds with white chests – they all kinda look the same to me. And that’s using my binoculars. I’m bad.

But I have good friends – and they bought me a book. Kaufman’s Field Guide to Birds of North America. And it has lots of pictures. While what I’d really like is someone to go – look – see that and that and that – that’s how you know that bird is a Nuthatch – at least with the Kaufman, I can flip thru the pictures and say – well – that looks right.

And I’m not so dumb that I don’t know to check if it even comes into my area. Good thing they have maps in the book, eh?

Ok – so birds I have spotted:

1. Mr. and Mrs. Cardinal – who apparently live near by and visit daily
2. The Chickadee extended family – who dip and dive their way in and out constantly
3. The Blue Jays – sometime visitors – and right now notable in their lengthly absence
4. White Breasted Nuthatch. I for sure saw one – looked just like his picture! I think I might have seen a Red Breasted Nuthatch – but I’m not 100% sure.
5. Yellow Throated Vireo – hey – it’s yellow. I’m so happy. Doesn’t look like the brown guys – works for me.
6. Warblers – I’m pretty sure these are what I’ve seen – but this is a huge family – so it’s a safe bet that at least one or two or a dozen have ventured by
7. European Starling – only slightly smaller than the Cardinals – and not nearly as regular a visitor – I’m pretty proud of the fact that I’m sure that the bird I saw was a Starling. (No joking about the huge population of these either – I’m new to the game of ID’ing birds – and a positive ID is a positive ID
8. And Juncos – Dark Eye’d and very pretty.

I have one more observation to share with you – it turns out that the birds are more interested apparently in sunshine than thermometer readings. No matter how cold it is (and we’ve had days in the minus 30 and worse range), if the sun’s out – the birds come. On the grey days – even when it’s much warmer – there are fewer birds.

Ok – that’s it for news from the feeder. I’ll keep everyone posted if I spot something new and different – or if the squirrels defeat the Baffle. I think my daughter is definitely on their side.

Signing off – The Soup Lady

Robin Williams – for me he was the voice of my times


I sometimes don’t do news – it’s so depressing, often boring, frequently silly. So somehow I didn’t know that the world lost Robin Williams until the morning. And it hit me hard. Very hard.

He was just 3 years younger than me – effectively a contemporary. His humor was our humor – we laughed at Mork and Mindy because going into space was something we all dreamed of doing. I remember when Russia looked like it might win the space race – and laughing at Mork was our way of laughing at Russia. And just like his role in Moscow on the Hudson – he captures what we’re afraid of – and makes it funny. Looking back – maybe we shouldn’t have been afraid – but Robin was there for us when we were.

Vietnam was our war – and Good Morning, Vietnam was how I wanted to think of it after the fact. Crazy, nuts, but with real people trying hard to do the right thing – and maybe not winning even a battle. But trying.

I can’t hear it’s a Beautiful World without Robin’s face flashing into my head – so strong is the association between Robin and my history and that movie. And he doesn’t even appear when that song plays.

I didn’t see every movie he made – but I was at Sundance in 2009 when he briefly stopped in to chat about his newest movie – World’s Greatest Dad. In some kind of not very funny world loop – it’s about a father whose son kills himself.

Reach out – right now – and hug someone you love. It’s the best way of celebrating his life and his memory.

Signing off for now – The Soup Lady

Pilgrimage Churches – What are they, and Why bother going out of the way to see them?


We’ve seen 2 pilgrimage churches so far – both spectacular – when leads me to wonder 3 things – why were they built, how do you find them in the guide books, and why bother going?

Which leads right into a fourth thing I’ve wondered about – is it worth renting a car in Europe.

Starting with the fourth thing first – why rent a car? In the cities – a car is the last thing you want. What you want is a hotel within walking distance of everything – and baring that – a good public transit system. The challenges of finding a place to leave a car are absolutely mindboggling. Car parks are few and far between – aided and abetted by the authorities – which at least in Switzerland have decided that no new parking spots will be built-in Zürich. You build a new building with 100 spots underground for cars – you’d better find 100 other spots to get rid of. sheesh.

So – no point having a car unless you are trying to tour the countryside or visiting towns way outside the beaten path. And since we had decided to tour and part of our touring required some pretty out-of-the-way places – we needed a car. So seeing pilgrimage churches became a possibility.

So how to find them. I’ll be honest – Regine (our friend in Zürich – who really ought to consider a career as travel guide) suggested both. And thus we visited them. But there must be another way. I did find Vierzehnheiligen in Bad Staffelstein in Fodor – with a star (Fodor choice). And once I knew to look for it – even the Insight Guide has a picture. So it’s there – if you know about it. The 2nd pilgrimage church – which honestly I thought even more impressive is called the Wies Church – it’s well documented on the internet – and knowing the name – I found it in Fodor – labeled “Off the Beaten path” – with which I must agree. So – maybe the best thing is to rely on the ‘you’ve really got to see this’ network!

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The Wies Church – located rather conveniently between Neuswanstein Castle and Linderhof Castle – is just there. Middle of nowhere. Not near a town, or even a decent highway. It was built in 1745 because a local woman claimed that she saw the wooden figure of Christ crying in 1739. Said Figure of Christ is enshrined in the altar (Fodor described it as a painting – I thought it was a craved statue)- clearly visible to all who visit the church. But it’s the church that will blow you away. It is a glorious love affair with Rocco – abounding with cupids, light, white statues of saints, prophets, or even just unknown heroes tipped in gold, and a mystery that still resonates. Did the painting indeed cry? We will never know – but the fact remains that the church is well worth visiting.

Even better – dessert at the guesthouse/restaurant right opposite the church entrance. My Hexenstrudel (witch’s strudel?) was amazing.

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Picture note: All the pictures below are from the Wies Church – but trust me – seen one cupid, seen them all. The differences are the structure of the church – and the reason it got built!

Vierzehnheiligen near the tiny town of Bad Staffelstein is actually a lot easier to find. It’s located just 40 km from Bamburg – which in itself is a delight. So this church clearly gets a lot more visitors – so many that starting Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday – all visitors must park at least 1/2 mile away from the church.

But again – oh so worth the trouble!

The first time you see the church is actually from the main road – it is situated on a fairly high hillside – and is clearly something remarkable.

Because we went on a Tuesday, and fairly late in the day as well, the road, the parking lots, and the church were relatively empty. Even better – a group was getting a tour of the organ loft – and had brought with them someone to play the organ – so as we gazed in wonder at the glorious architecture – we were surrounded by magnificent music. They sure knew something about acoustics in those days.

This pilgrimage church was built to celebrate the vision of a Shepard, who in 1445 apparently saw 14 saints along with Christ – striding along the hilltop. The church was built between 1743 and 1772 – in true over the top Rocco style. The shape of the church is exremely unusual. It’s almost completely round – and huge. So large that the main part is called “Gods Ballroom”. Smack in the center, and neatly dividing the church in two, is the altar – decorated of course with cupids, saints, heroes, and images of Mary. White, Gold, sunlight, and over-the-top carvings make the entire church seem to dance. No photo’s allowed – so we just got to look, stare, and wonder at the energy and money spent to build something so out-of-the-way!

Unlike the Wies Church, vendors selling religious (and not so religious) souvenirs line one side of the entrance way. Kinda tacky. But on the other side of the church is a former monetary that has partly been turned into a visitors center. All in German, but at least there is some attempt to document and explain the architecture.

Bottom line – they wouldn’t be pilgrimage churches if they weren’t worth visiting. So go. Enjoy. And say I sent you!

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Mise-en-Scene – a must see exhibit – coming to a museum near you!


While we were in Seoul, the LEEUM Museum was putting on what might be one of the best ‘special’ exhibits I’ve even seen. It’s too late to see it in Seoul – it’s gone as of June 2, 2013 – but something this good will surely be re-appearing at a Museum near you. Keep your eyes peeled!

The theme of ‘Mise-en-Scene’ is theatre – as it applies to moving images, stage sets and the like. Leaving aside the ‘blab blab’ of the curators – the resulting collection of works by assorted artists was both intriguing, unforgettable, and surprising.

The first major piece is a series of 12 video monitors by Adad Hannah – each showing a bit more of a scene. In the first – there is a simple close up of a woman’s face and a man’s hand. In the next monitor – the camera has pulled back just a bit, showing more of the man’s hand. As the camera apparently pulls back further and further, more of the scene is revealed – you gradually realize that the man is turned away from the woman, and is actually looking at another woman who has just entered the room. In the final monitor, you see that in fact the entire scene is a scene within a scene – there is another camera man, a prompter, sound crew, etc. At the end of the installation is the room itself. You are left wondering what you were thinking when you saw the first few monitors – thinking about thinking in the Buddhist vocabulary.

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The next several pieces are works by Jung Yeondoo. In all of them – there is a trick – not everything you see in the final ‘photograph’ is real. For example – one image is of a woman apparently sitting in a boat on a lake. But alongside the final image is a photograph of how the first image was created – the lake is a backdrop, the lady is real, but the boat is a flat cut-out prop. In another series – the first photograph is a battle scene – an explosion with dirt flying, 3 men running for cover, a fourth man being blown away. But the reality is that only 2 men are real – the dirt is being spread from above, the rest of the scene – including the tank – are again cut-outs. These are so cool.

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We also got to see several of the works from the Feast of Trimalchio by AES+F. Check this out on the internet – these are huge format photographs with 20 or more people taking part. The final photographs are created by taking pictures of small groups of two to 6 people – then pasting the individual pictures together. The theme is also interesting – a decadent roman festival set in modern times. The background is a modern resort with a beach, housekeeping maids, golf pros, chaise lounges, and – true to the theme – decadent looking customers. The final pictures are replete with detail – the construction method intriguing.

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There were also 3 video sections.
The first by Eve Susman and the Rufus Corporation is an 89 second video that captures the action just before and just after the scene captured in Velazquez’s las Meninas. Look it up if you do not know the reference, but to help you out – here’s the picture. Now just imagine all those various characters – from the artist to the dwarfs – coming to life.

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The original painting shows a members of the Spanish Court – and dates from 1656. The painting shows people looking in different directions, some towards the artist, some away – and even shows the artist himself in front of the easel. What the video does is show all the same people – dressed exactly as they are in the painting – but moving around and interacting with each other. At one precise moment – it all snaps together into the painting – but then the performers continue to move – deconstructing just as the finished constructing the famous painting.

The 2nd video was even more intriguing. Done by Yang Fudong, it is 7 different movie screens – each showing a different view of a specific landscape with a cast of interesting characters. The characters move in and out of the different screens, things behind them change positions and travel also from screen to screen. Filmed in black and white, and completely open to any and all interpretation, it is again a challenge to your thought processes. What did you think was going on – did you expect what happened to happen. Are you predicting what will occur – or do you not see the screens as connected. Consider how interesting – art that makes you think about thinking.

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The final piece – by Zin Kijong – is the hardest to describe. The viewer is in a space between 2 parts of the installation. On one side is a series of models – dioramas that capture a single moment in time. In front of them is a track on which 2 cameras are placed, each one slowly moving past the models. On the other side of the space are 2 video monitors – each showing the ‘view’ of one of the cameras. The models have been designed to create a story in the mind of the watcher – again – making you think about what you are thinking.

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So – keep your eyes open for exhibits by any or all of these artists. There work is outstanding. I just can’t believe how fortunate the Intrepid Traveler and I were to wander into this Special Exhibit. And how glad we were that we did.

Signing off – The Soup Lady and the Intrepid Traveler.

Getting Grannie Time – Even if it means traveling to Korea!


Today’s reality is that families don’t live near each other. Well, some families are blessed by being close – but more and more families are dealing with long distance relationships, particularly grand-parents and grand-kids.

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I’m among the blessed – my grand-kids (2 so far – always routing for more of course) live relatively near by – a 30 minute drive. So we can get together for dinner and a home movie – even grab them for a ‘grannie’ weekend, without having to make serious arrangements. But not all families are so blessed, nor all kids so willing to share.

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My friend the Intrepid Traveler has 6 grand-kids, 2 of whom live near by but seldom visit, 2 of which live about 40 minutes from her house but she sees a lot and has a close relationship with – and 2 of which live in Tiawan. That’s 12,000 miles from her home. So spending quantity or quality time with them is near to impossible. That’s a large part of the reason we’re in Korea. It was easy for her kids and grand-kids to get to, and not insanely expensive for us. Plus we were able to score timeshare weeks at the Kensington Beach Resort. So we’ve spent the last 10 days living next door to her kids, and since they are not ‘at home’ either, they have had no distractions – no work, no other friends – just us, the kids, the grand-kids.

So – quality time to the max.

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Is 2 weeks enough time to really get to know your kids and grand-kids? Well, it can’t hurt of course. And it’s a ton better than nothing. For the Intrepid Traveler – it’s meant time for conversations with her son and daughter-in-law. Conversations that don’t get cut short by other friends calling, TV blaring, or the needs of husbands. Instead our focus has been on the kids – helping them color in pictures, cook, play in the playground or even just sit on the beach. It’s been amazing.

So why am I muttering? Well – as more families are separated by significant distance, the issue is – who makes the move to get together. I’m of the opinion that the responsibility – at least during the hardest child rearing years – is on the grand-parent. If you want quality time with your grand-kids – you need to make it a priority – or it won’t happen. It’s too much to expect kids to break their routine and drag themselves to you – so you have to go to them. It’s seriously nice of course that the kids of the Intrepid Traveler were willing to meet us part way – and more importantly – take 2 whole weeks off work to just relax with grannie.

Now I know all the excuses – I’m too busy, I have a job, the kids don’t like the way I treat their kids, the kids are worried I’ll spoil the grand-kids, my daughter (or daughter-in-law) doesn’t make me feel welcome. But these are excuses, not reasons. Anything can/should be worked out if it makes lives better for the kids – right?

Here’s another thought – what do the Grand-kids think? My daughter is just turning 30 so I asked her what her memories of her grand-mother (my mother) were. We lived 1000 miles apart – so time together was determined by us committing to visiting them rather than they visiting us. To my surprise – my daughters recollections were extremely strong and very positive. Granted we tried to make sure that my kids got time with their grand-parents – but we were rarely able to spend 2 weeks at a stretch together – even a week was a long time. So clearly it’s more about repetition in my daughter’s case.

An issue – there is only a few years when Grand-kids are even willing to spend that kind of time doing ‘nothing’. Once they hit age 13 – all bets are off on spending time with grannies. So – do it now – no one has ever been sorry they spent too much time getting to know their kids and grand-kids.

My questions to you – my readers – One – how far do you live from your parents/grand-parents/grand-kids. Two – what are your memories of your grand parents? and Three – do you try to get your kids together with your parents – or if you are a grand parent – do you try to get to spend time with your grand kids? Or – if you are the kid – have you called/talked/chatted with your grand-parents lately?

My challenge to you – In the next 12 months – get some quality time with your grand kids/grand-parents – and comment to me about it!

Signing off to spend more time with the grand-kids – The Soup lady and the Intrepid Traveler.

Thinking about Thinking – more info about Korean Buddhism


Before you read this blog – be sure you’ve read my blogs about the temple stay at Haein-sa – this blog will make a lot more sense then.

One of our guides at Haein-sa summarized Buddhism into 3 rules.
1. Do not do all evil things
2. Do do all good things
3. Clear your mind

Our Monk suggested the following mantras:
1. Think about thinking
2. Share your thinking with others – not what you know or have read – but what you think
3. Walk slowly and be silent. It is in being silent that you can hear yourself thinking.
4. Focus on this moment. On Now. Only what you do now affects your future. The past is gone, the future yet to be written. Only Now counts.

At one of the temples I visited it was suggested that to be a Buddha you must eliminate 3 things:
1. Greed
2. Anger
3. Foolishness

Heady stuff, eh? How often do we just stop and think about thinking unless forced to by some outside force. Even today – Buddha’s Birthday here in Korea, people are consumed with material things – selling their apples or onions or cakes, playing their computer games , or in my case – writing my blog. Are any of us thinking about thinking? Is even thinking about this wasting time?

It’s hard to say from my perspective – I love wandering around markets, if every one was doing mediation, what fun would that be? Maybe it’s enough to know that there are people out there – Priests, Monks, Rabbis, Imams – who ‘job’ it is to think about thinking so we don’t have to.

Signing off so she can do some thinking – the Soup Lady.

A Buddha-ism – Learning to walk and think more slowly – Not easy I warn you!


3:00 am comes really quickly, even if you are sleeping on the floor. And by 3:18 both the Intrepid traveller and I were up and listening to the 4 gongs being rung to wake all sentient beings. Not sure about everyone else – but I was awake – trust me.

We then walked – two columns, extremely slowly – into the prayer hall and following our leader, respected Buddha (that’s 3 full bows), respected the past, the present and the future (waist bows to the East, the North, and the West), and prayed with the Monks. None of them looked very sleepy – but I can’t say the same for our team.

We then walked – again in 2 columns, again very slowly – back to the 2nd prayer room – to do our 108 bows to Buddha. Why 108? It’s an important number to Buddhists – as our Monk explained, because there are 6 senses (the normal 5 plus time), there are 6 feelings (like, enjoy, etc.) and 6 * 6 is 36. And there is the Past, the Current, and the future – and 3 * 36 = 108.

So 108 bows. These are not at the waist bows – these are done starting from a standing position, dropping to a kneeling position, putting your head against the mat, raising palms to the level of your ears, pushing forward on to your knees, and finally standing again. Try it. Not easy. Now do 108 of those while the Monk claps a stick to keep time. One of our group was in charge of a rope of prayer beads – she moved one with each bow to keep track. I had decided the night before that if I could do 54 (1/2 the required number) – I’d be impressed.

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But surprisingly – I did all 108. Later on one of the group commented that its very hard to do 108 bows alone – but in a group, it’s easier. You gain mental and physical energy from the group. I think he might be on to something there – surely a 65-year-old – not in the best shape – old lady doing 108 bows is pretty incredible. I was impressed with me I’ll tell you.

And now it’s time to do the really hard thing – the sitting mediation. Our Monk had told us that the Monks actually do 7 days of mediation – no sleeping. They eat, they pray and they meditate – And if they come 20 minutes late to any of the mediation sessions – they are banished from Haein-sa for 3 years. 3 Years!

But I’m still worried. First off – no talking. Ok – I can survive an hour of no talking. 2nd – no fidgeting – no scratching your nose, no moving your knees, no moving your hands. That doesn’t sound much like me. And third – you have to keep your legs bent in the lotus position the entire time. This is going to be tough. He did give us some hints. One – concentrate on your breathing – one breathe at a time. Think about who knows you are breathing. And when something begins to bother you – think about it not hurting you. And when stray thoughts come into your mind – think about them, and then go back to thinking about your breathing. My favorite hint – keep both knees touching the mat. And fold the mat double.

I asked during our ‘Tea’ what was wrong with thinking – and was told – it’s not thinking that the problem – it’s flighty thinking – this and that and that and this – no pattern, no control. Try to control how you think. Ouch – that’s a huge challenge. I can’t even control my thinking when I’m typing… Even when I’m writing my blog I’m also listening to the people talking in Korean on the floor below me, and hearing the sounds of the birds and the traffic.

But I’m willing to give this a chance. So we go into the meditation hall, I struggle into the lotus position and shut my eyes. All is going ok when I hear the first ‘Crack’. The Monk has struck one of our group for falling asleep. Well nothing wakes you up faster than that I’ll tell you. The struck individual, as instructed, thanks the Monk for reminding him to mediate, not sleep, and we all go back to meditating. Twice more there are ‘Crack’s’ – but not once was it me. And then just as quickly as it began – it is over.

An hour passed so fast – I couldn’t believe it.

Next on the schedule is lying down mediation – and they tell us we can sleep. I think I slept – Jill says so anyway. Next is breakfast (lots worse than dinner – and dinner was pretty bad) – then its time to do our share of work. In our case its pretty easy – clean up our living quarters. I was hoping we’d help with farming – but no such luck. Guess they didn’t need inexpert farmers today.

We then get an escorted tour of the grounds of Haein-sa – which includes a walk around the comtemplation maze – again slowly – and in Hapjong position.

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Eventually we re-group with our Monk to discuss our Temple Stay.

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When we first met – we introduced our selves – our names, and countries of origin. This time the Monk challenges us to introduce ourselves – but without using our names, our jobs, our countries. To in fact – introduce ourselves by saying something important and unique about us. Not surprisingly – we learn a lot more about our fellows this time – information I’ll remember long after I’ve forgotten their names. Examples: “I lack judgement”, “My best friends are my sister and brother”, “I don’t like myself very much”, “I talk more than I listen”, etc., etc. Some in our group use this opportunity to explain what was most surprising to them – and beside the Noble Silence – many comment on how hard it was to walk slowly.

The general feeling is that we live life to fast to enjoy it – that taking time to slow down and just think – meditate – isn’t as wasteful as it first seems. Most of us agree to try to think a bit more slowly in the future.

At the end, our Monk encourages us to consider the current as most important – the past shaped us – brought us to where we are today – but can not change and has no power over us. The future is driven by the current – so knowing where you are today is key to your future. He gives us some gifts, a booklet about Buddhism, and a wooden bead bracelet with Chinese lettering. He explains to me that the bracelet says – “Your dreams and wishes can come true”. I wear it with pride.

The intrepid traveller and I leave Haein-sa – glad we came.