Category Archives: Spiritual

Nov 14 – A Religious High and a Fabulous Hotel – Day 13


6 Years, 6 months, 6 weeks, 6 days, 6 hours, 6 minutes.

As per Rio – That’s how long a Tibetan Monk meditates to ascend to a higher rank. There’s also a 3 year, 3 month, 3 week, 3 day, 3 hour, 3 minute option to obtain a lower rank. In case you are interested.

We start today with a visit to the beautiful Tibetan Monastery that is about 1/4 of the way up that same winding road we’ve been taking – over and over again.

But this time after a hair-raising drive thru town, we pull into the unearthly quiet of a lovely Monastery perched on a flat piece of ground on the Nepal side of the road.

Rio – who is Tibetan – walks us thru the Monastery. We spin the prayer wheels waking slowly from wheel to wheel and concentrating on our thoughts and we see the ‘Monk’ only residence for Monk who are doing a mediation – 6 years, 6 months, 6 weeks, 6 days, 6 hours, 6 minutes – with only one acolyte in attendance to help as he needs it.

There is a yearly Retreat held here with hundreds of Tibetans seeking enlightenment held here in the Retreat Hall, and housing cascading down the hillside for the younger monks in training or I suppose the folks who come on Retreat. There is no question that this is a power point in the world. Even I can feel that this is a very special place.

It is the oldest Tibetan Monastery in the world. There are others that are much fancier – but this was the first. And it’s obvious why.

We take the required photos, and eventually leave. We still must drive to Darjeeling, check-into our next hotel, and eat lunch at the fancy restaurant I’ve been promised!

By Helmut’s mapping app – we should be about 1 hr from Darjeeling – and we can even see it across the valley. It looks close enough to touch, but nothing is as it seems in this part of the world!

I suppose it’s not a surprise to be told that while the crow flies, Darjeeling is very close, by car it’s a lot lot further. And when we finally reach the outskirts of Darjeeling we find out why.

One of the Major Political Figures is coming TODAY to open a new outdoor shopping experience, with many small booths dedicated to selling hand-made product from each province in India. There’s music, there are flags, there are dancers, drummers and singers, and there is no driving thru!

Our driver has to stop at each of the barricades to explain he’s got guests who are going to the Elgin. That name clearly holds power because each time he uses it – the Barriers go down, and we are waved or saluted thru! Hmmm – I’m wondering what the Elgin is?

Eventually (1.5 hrs – anyone surprised) we arrive at a lovely wrought iron gate manned by a gentleman in uniform. Our driver explains who we are – and we are saluted thru the gate and into a driveway that ends at one of the most beautiful hotels I’ve ever seen.

Originally built over 125 years ago (1887) – it’s been maintained in the traditional style except for the addition of modern plumbing – including a huge deep Bathtub, and Room heaters.

We’re greeted – offered a drink – and given a small gift to welcome us to the hotel. Photo’s dot the walls reflecting the glorious past of this hotel, and there is staff ready to escort us to our rooms.

My room is warm and huge. Actually about 3 or 4 times the size of my room at the HomeStay – and with the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in a week. A bathtub. I’m not alone about focusing on the bathtub – I no sooner get into my room than I get a photo from Andrea – it’s Helmut in the Bathtub!

We regroup – and head out to lunch. Rio knows the way (of course – I think he knows the way everywhere) and we find ourselves in the middle of the main shopping street and smack dab in the center of the crowd gathering to greet the arriving Politician Mamata Banerjee. I immediately get distracted by a group of dancers in lovely Saris – and Andrea gets sent to find me and drag me back to the group! (Sigh)

We walk thru the town to a restaurant called Glenary – it was originally a pastry shop – and has morphed into a 3 story Restaurant, Pastry Shop, Bar that is a popular favorite. And it serves Steak.

Rio basically tells us – you must order the steak, so we do. I also try to order something fried. I’ve discovered that the fried foods tend to agree better with my stomach, and after several attempts – waiter takes the order, returns to say – we’re out, takes another order – returns to say we’re out – until finally I ask – well what do you have – and it’s the Chinese style fried chicken that is available.

We relax, have drinks – they have a choice of beer – Helmut is so happy. This part of India isn’t alcohol free – but it’s been a challenge to source beer – and this time he gets to choose! First time since we arrived that there’s been not only beer, but a choice of beers.

Our Chinese fried chicken arrives – and it’s perfect. I’d have been perfectly happy with just that for lunch. The steaks are served – and my doubts are in fact set in front of me. This isn’t steak, although I’ll agree that it’s beef. It’s just a much larger serving of what I’d call pot roast than the one we got the other evening at the HomeStay.

We do our best, but no one can finish their potion – even with Helmut taking 1/2 of Andrea’s. So after some discussion – Rio takes the remainder back with him. I think his plan is to feed the ‘homeless’ dogs that live near his HomeStay – because he’s let the car go with his 2nd in command. They have to go pick up a new guest from Bagdogra Airport. Rio is going home by public transport.

He insists on walking us back to the hotel – I think they think we will get lost if we wander outside of their protective vision – and we say good-bye.

We opt to return to our rooms and give those bathtubs a good hard workout. I actually wash my hair TWICE. I’d been making do with a washcloth and a quick wipe because the room was so cold. But with a warm bathtub, a proper bathroom and – wow – a Bathrobe – well, I’m ready to get comfy.

We opt to meet at 7:30 for a drink in the bar of the hotel. And you can envision the Raj arriving to greet folks.

It reminds me of scenes from the movie – The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. At one point they go into a private club – and I promise you – this could have been where they filmed that section.

I’m so relaxed that I make the beginning traveler’s mistake of ordering a Pina Colada. Silly me – of course they can’t make one. What was I thinking! But I’m so happy and so warm and so clean I don’t really care. We chat, go over some of our adventures, and basically say good-bye.

Tomorrow I’m leaving – starting my journey home while Helmut and Andrea will continue the adventure – several days in Darjeeling to explore, than visits to Gangtok, Pelling, the Rabdanste ruins, Ravangla, Kalimpong, Sunderbans National Park, Corbett National Park, and the Corbett Tiger Reserve. I know they will have a blast, but I’m ready to head back home.

Signing off – The Soup Lady

Nov 8 – Last chance for Tigers – and I go shopping!


Again it’s Yoga, quick breakfast, and we’re off. Today we’re going to hit the West side of the Kaziranga Park. It’s not ‘known’ for seeing the tigers – but the crowding has just beaten us down!

It’s a bit of a longer drive – so we start a bit earlier – and still get to the park at opening bell. Good news – it’s so early the Ranger’s aren’t even ready!

So at least we’re going to be doing this at the earliest possible time, and while it’s unlikely we’ll see Tigers, we’re betting that at least the bird and other animal population will put on a good photographic effort.

Good news and Bad news – we were right on both accounts.

No Tigers (that’s the bad news) – a video of an Amazing Rhino Mate-ing session (the male lost this round) – and lots of close-up encounters with birds and Rhinos, Wild Pigs and Buffalo – and lots of Photo stops. It’s a far easier to focus on the pictures you are taking when there are no other jeeps buzzing past you – or worse sitting behind you looking disappointed.

It’s fun, it’s beautiful – and yes – I’m disappointed that we managed not to see any Tigers.

We did stop at a look-out tower that offered three interesting things:

  1. A toilet. No it didn’t flush, and no there was no place to sit, and yes I provided my own toilet paper – but it had a door that closed and locked (double success) and all my squat work-outs with Mona have strengthened my legs so – well – I could do what needed to be to be done.
  2. A sign showing all the Flood Levels over the years – as measured at this particular tower. Wow – these guys get seriously flooded. Big years (like over my head!) were 1988, 2017, 2019, 2024, and 1998. That means the water not only went over its banks – but it went over the footings of the tower, and reached over 5’ up the posts supporting the first floor. And that happened just this summer for the 5th time since 2014 when the tower was built. My photo is on the blog if you go to http://www.MontrealMadame.com
  3. Another sign gave the Animal Census result as of 2022

Animal Census Results:

  1. Greater One Horned Rhinoceros: 2613
  2. Royal Bengal Tiger: 104
  3. Asiatic Wild Buffalo: 2565
  4. Asiatic Elephants: 1200+ (2024)
  5. Eastern Swamp Deer: 1129
  6. Important Bird #’s: 553 Species including 25 Globally Important Species

Photo’s taken and bathroom break finished, we are leaving the park when Abi suddenly says to our driver – turn right then back up NOW! He’s speaking Hindi – but it’s impossible not to miss his meaning.

The driver is surprised – but after some reinforcement – does what Abi says. We end up on the left side of the road – back to the park, front to the entrance – looking toward the Park. Perfect lighting!

There’s a Male Rhino on one side of the road, a Female Rhino on the other side – who is going ‘Huff, Huff, Huff’. And about 8 Jeeps parked on the sides – just waiting.

We get our cameras ready- and I actually decide to try to use my iphone to film this. Abi says – they are either going to fight or mate – just watch.

So we watch.

After a few minutes of pawing the ground – the Male (on my left – other side of the road) – starts moving up and across and then down the other side. Not munching speed – but a lot lot fast. I think that’s a Rhino fast walk.

He goes nose to nose to the clearly in Heat Female – and they exchange Huffs getting louder and louder. Then she charges! OMG – she’s going to butt him!

He spins around (I didn’t know Rhinos could do that) – and starts running – these may the large animals – but they are FAST!

The Female is in hot pursuit – and they both hit the pond just below us with a gigantic splash. Our driver – who is rather new at this – gets scared and puts his foot on the gas – we scream STOP!!! We’re Filming!!!!

The Rhinos complete the dash across the pond – then the Male finally gets clear – or the Female thinks she’s made her point… They calmly – like nothing happened – get back into their original positions – the Male on one side of the road – the female on the other – and they calmly put their noses down and start munching.

Excitement over team – you all can go now.

Whew!

Since time is almost up (we must be out of the park by noon) we head to the exit, stop for a bit of T-shirt shopping, and then head for Lunch.

After that excitement – you’d think lunch could only be a let down – but you’d be WRONG!

Abi knew a gal who is running a cooperative looming group for women of the area. She had spinning wheel, 3 full size looms – a full manual, a more Automated (there are strings to pull the shuttles, you don’t pass it by hand, and a Jacquard Loom. She explains that there are a team of women who come and spend time making cloth for Saris and finished placemats for sale. In addition, she’s been working on getting women committed to getting an education, and involved in a lot of other community projects. I’m impressed.

They bring us into their ‘back space’ – aka restaurant – and serve us a lovely vegetarian lunch. We start the meal with prayers, and end the meal with prayers. It’s all very calm and wonderful.

Yes – I bought some cloth… How could I not, right? But since I had no money (long silly credit card story) – Abi covers my debt. I’ll pay him back later. Meanwhile my big suitcase is suddenly a lot heavier…

We leave, wander back to our lovely HomeStay – and take a bit of a rest before an early dinner. Tonight our host has invited (for the first time ever) a group of 10 Tea People dancers who will be performing for us.

The host and I walk the space where the dancers will be performing – and to no ones surprise, I make some suggestions about the lighting. He has bought lanterns to put in around the dancing space – but I suggest that instead we line-up the lanterns in front and then block the light going into the eyes of the audience. He listens to my suggestions – and to my completely surprise – has his team make the changes.

Now we can actually see the performers faces! And the change has brought the audience much closer! You can thank me later…

The music is wonderful – drums and singing by the male dancers – while the women do their dancing in circles and in lines in front of the guys. Can anyone say – mating ritual?

They invite Andrea and I into the circle – and she says – come on – let’s go. Never one to miss a chance to party – I join the group. With any luck at all the videos will never get off of Helmut’s cell phone! I just hope they don’t go viral.

Then it’s time to thank the dancers for their efforts – comment on the beauty of their dancing – and head upstairs to bed.

No surprise – but tomorrow is another early day. We have an 8 hour drive ahead of us.

Signing off – The Soup Lady

Emirates First Class Lounge in Dubai


I have died and gone to heaven! This place is insanely beautiful – not just the lounge which puts many of the fancy restaurants I’ve enjoyed over the years to shame – but the airport here in Dubai itself is worth seeing to believe!

I’m reminded of the line from the Movie “Crazy Rich Aliens” when they arrive in Singapore and the heroine quips – all JFK has is Salmonella and Despair.

This airport definitely rivals the one in Bali for sheer beauty. There are huge – like 60’ high – Palm trees growing inside the atrium of the Airport Walkways.

And there is the largest Duty-free shop I’ve ever seen. Plus more neon than in some areas of Tokyo. (Those of you who have been to Tokyo know what area I’m talking about…)

So how did a 76 year old traveling grannie – who admittedly tends to travel on the cheap side – end up sitting in this lovely lounge enjoying – get this – a Wagu Burger and fresh French fries?

Let’s start at the beginning – Many years ago we did a ‘cheap’ safari in Africa which emphasized camping outdoors in the game parks. I didn’t see nearly as many animals as I’d have liked – but we made good friends with a couple from Bavaria! And we’ve stayed friends over the years.

Our Bavarian Mates come from Munich – and over the years have teased us with their enthusiasm for wild and crazy travel. They are also very good friends!

So in May 2024 – when they told us they had planned a trip to India (a Safari to see Tigers, Red Pandas, and Rhinoceros) – I asked if I could tag along. Victor wasn’t the least bit interested – but I was totally determined to take on this unique challenge. Consider – at 76 – how many more times will I be willing/able to take on a 36 hr air flight – do homestays in a country that requires a lot of vaccines – and is often described as noisy and crowded and smelly.

And if your next thought is why would I want to – you are in the same mind as my husband! Even the Intrepid Traveler has no interest.

So here I am – part way thru my 36 hour flight to Kolkata. My Bavarian friends are also flying into Dubai from Munich – so we will meet at the gate to the Emirates flight to Kolkata.

Now you know why I’m sitting and waiting – but not why I’m doing it first class.

I have only flown first class once before in my life – and it was under similar circumstances. Neither Victor nor The Intrepid Traveler was coming along, I was joining friends in Bali – and the flight was in the 36 hr range. I figured the difference in price between economy and first class was just $20 an hour – and I was so WORTH it!

The same is true this time. The differential wasn’t that great – not when you thought of it per hour – and because I was going to have 2 long waits in airports (Toronto and Dubai) – Going first class sounded more than reasonable. It sounded like a deal!

The flight from Toronto to Dubai was on Air Canada – and while I enjoyed the service and the lay flat beds – I wouldn’t rate the experience as 5 star. The ‘Maple Leaf Lounge’ in the Toronto airport had mediocre food at best – my ‘dinner’ was Nachos with Pico de Gallo and shredded cold cheddar. It was food. And I ate it. The only desert options were cookies – chocolate chocolate chip and white chocolate with Macadamia nuts. They were my favorite part of the meal.

Food even in first class wasn’t that good either, I’m sorry to report. Waste of calories to be honest. I ate what I had to be sure my stomach wasn’t growling, but it was hardly memorable. Or maybe it was truly memorable in how deplorable it was.

Highlights – the fresh oranges in the fruit basket available near the service area. Those were indeed yummy. And the big TV to watch movies was quite a nice touch. But storage was non-existent, and because I’m so short – reaching the Touch Screen TV to change movies wasn’t easy. At least the headphones they gave us were noise cancelling. That was a nice touch.

On the other hand – the Emirates Lounges here in the Dubai Airport – and I visited two – were awesomely beautiful. The first one was the business class version – described by the hostess as smaller than the similar one in the B terminal. I think I need to check out that one – I thought the one I was in was huge. There was a vast display of food options – cold, hot, room temperature, an ice cream trolley with 8 different flavours and 4 types of cones, an entire desert display, and around a corner – another section with Indian specialities like Samosas.

A full pour it yourself Bar – plus bottles of several different wines were available.

I was just settled into the Business class Lounge when the hostess came up to tell me I was in the wrong place. I should be in the much much nicer First class lounge. And she helped me gather my things and walked me across the concourse.

Wow – This lounge is truly special – and I don’t blame her for saying – it was much nicer. It’s smaller, with a specific dining area – with get this – service! And the food is prepared to order! Wow. In an airport lounge. And the menu goes on and on for several pages. So many choices.

I opted for the Wagu Burger because I know I won’t seeing Beef for the next two weeks. Get it while I can I figure! And it was delicious. A huge portion I couldn’t finish – although I gave it my best effort. Easily the tastiest food I’ve had since leaving home!

Time for desert – there’s a lovely desert selection – and of course Ice cream. I’m having macaroons – and Pistachio Ice Cream.

Then it’s on to my gate, my friends (I hope), and my flight to Kolkata!

Signing off to gather and walk on – The Soup Lady

Day 1 at an Artist Retreat


I’m at a ranch near Santa Fe, New Mexico with a group of 7 other women on an art retreat.

For me – That is one truly wierd sentence. For starters – I can’t remember ever being with a group of only women before in my life. I’ve been just 2 or 3 with just women – when my sisters and I travel together without our sig others – and when I travel with the Intrepid Traveler – but 8 women. Just Women. First time.

Point 2 – It’s a ‘Art Retreat’. I knew I wanted to do a yoga retreat, and I’ve definitely done Bridge regionals and nationals – which I suppose are rather ‘retreat like’ in that you focus on one activity – but Art. Really? Nothing but Art? I mean – I love doing Art – but just Art… maybe that’s why I’m blogging – a retreat from an Art Retreat.

Am I over thinking this?

Yesterday was my travel day. I woke at 3:00 AM in a hotel near the Toronto Airport having eaten a lovely dinner the night before with my husband. We said our good-byes before bed – knowing that I had to be at the airport so very early it wasn’t a good plan to wake him up.

So – I’m up, I didn’t do my Yoga – hard to do that without disturbing my husband, and got dressed in the dark. I had mostly prepared the night before – so it went quickly – and I’m pretty sure I didn’t forget anything.

The trip to the airport in the shuttle was painless – but surprisingly crowded. Lots of airline crew starting their days – and a few other travellers. My fellow voyagers are clearly Japanese heading home. Neatly dressed, with their suitcases carefully over-wrapped in flashy cover-ups to make them easy to spot on the carrousels. Organized travellers. In comparison I feel like a flake – a very senior hippy heading out to see the world.

My ‘Safari bag’ suitcase is a hold-over from our first trip to Africa. Soft sided, but with wheels, it’s easy to over fill, and has no structure. So I’ve put in all my paints and art supplies – including the 10 canvases I’m hoping will be filled with art on my way back home. Right now they are white and unprepared – Full of potential – but very empty.

The airports were airports – large, packed with people with very specific destinations – and busy. The trip itself, while long, was uneventful. Not Adventure travel, unless you count arriving at my connecting flight just as they called my group # to board! I think that’s just great timing. I will admit I wondered if my big suitcase packed with the art supplies would make the connection – just 50 minutes, and Dallas is a huge airport – but yup – it was safely riding around in Baggage Claim in Albuquerque.

Getting the rental car was super easy. There are clear signs to ‘Rental Cars’ near Baggage Claim – and they have just one bus that takes all folks picking up Rental Cars to an off the airport Rental Car Building. Go right for one group of agencies, go left for the other. Hard to get lost – easy to find your agency!

Got my car – a small SUV – that to my eyes looks like a huge truck. And drives like one too! The agent proudly explained that it was a 2024 model – one of the newest they had on the lot. Hmmm.

I’ll grant you it was huge – although when Char (76) and Carol (58) and I put all out luggage in – we had to use the 4th seat for extra storage. I think the issue is all the art supplies. We all were told to come prepare to paint not shop – and it’s hard to judge what you’ll need. Just picking the colors is a challenge – what works in Montreal might not be appealing to paint with in Santa Fe. The light is different, the air is different – and I think the colors will be very different. We shall see.

We meet up with Carrie (1/4 Cherokee and 79) and Dee (my age, 4’11” and super nice) – and agree to follow them as we head out to the Turquoise Road – a scenic bypass between Albuquerque and Santa Fe. Painless trip – broken up by stopping for lunch at a decrepit looking old Coal Mining town that has been turned into a terribly cutesy Western themed Art community.

We all agree that the wide-open spaces around us are both lovely, and conducive to folks doing big sculpture. We pass several ‘art studios’ that feature old car frames that have been repurposed into ‘art’. Some painted, some left to continue rusting. There’s even an Origami Garden with the largest Metal Origami structures I’ve ever seen. They tower over the landscape looking like huge folding paper Birds and Horses. Unfortunately – it’s closed, and we can only peak in from the entrance.

We chat over lunch – I learn that Carol is Gluten Free – and suffers badly if she even eats the tiniest bit of Gluten, and Dee has a dairy free diet that it turns out to include all Cheese made with goat, sheep or cow milk. Well – I knew that – but the folks at the ranch did not – and they had carefully added cheese to both the salad and the ‘Gratin’ dish at dinner time. I know – dealing with ‘food issues’ isn’t fun – but hey, at least we are all getting better at saying ‘No’ – rather then eating and suffering, or not eating and just pushing the food around the plate to make it look like we ate.

The Ranch is a 10 acre field with a large low adobe building forming the main ranch house, and a heavily renovated ‘barn’ acting as the home of the hosts. We have the entire run of the place – all rooms are huge – all the furniture is huge and well worn – and there are tons of ‘spaces’ where folks can gather or be alone. I like it.

My room is a small suite. Huge bedroom with lots of storage spots but not much furniture and a mini-kitchen/desk area. Bathroom too. I have windows on 2 sides – one with a lovely view of the sunrise – that I admired greatly while writing this post, and one leading to a ‘private’ porch with a hammock I shall never use.

After getting our gear into our rooms – I help move the suitcases of several of the other guests – who thought that at 76 I’d be the strongest… (Thank you Mona) – then we gather for a quick chat and orientation.

We play a name game – which clearly didn’t help me because I’ve forgotten names already – but I’m going to write them down over breakfast so I get them right in the blog.

We spend time introducing our selves, and describing where we are ‘art’ wise. Outside of Tabatha (58) – our leader – Cat (68) and Xan (54 and the youngest) are the only ones actually making a living from doing ‘art’. Char explains that she is a newbie – but learning constantly, Xan is a friend of Tabatha – and has been doing art for a long time – although I don’t think she makes a living painting – it’s creating jewelry that she sells on line that provides some income.

Some of the women are married – although for all of us – while our husbands support our desire to do ‘art’ – they didn’t come on the retreat. Most of the women are single and unattached. Two never had kids, One has only one daughter who at 24 is still living at home and has health issues.

After dinner there is more chatting until I excuse myself. I’m way past my expiry date… I need to wind down, straighten my room and go to bed.

Signing off to do Yoga – eat Breakfast – record names – and start painting…

The Soup Lady

Day 243 – Last Commandment for Seniors (#12)


You sill haven’t learned to act your age – and hope you never will!

Hear-Hear! I never ever ever wanted to act my age. I never acted my age all my life, and now is most certainly not the time to rethink that strategy.

When I was in my early teens – and by this I’m referring to that torture chamber we call High School – I was way to studious and concerned with math and science in particular to take notice of the things ‘girls my age’ considered important – like clothes and boys. To be very honest – I’m still not overly concerned about clothes – See Commandment #2 for Senior – “In Style” are the clothes that still fit.

I did go thru a ‘boys are amazing’ period – but for my time – it was very late, and ended rather abruptly with me marrying my still to this day husband – Victor! I arrived at University as a ‘Southern Belle’ – complete with breathy accent – and was immediately considered a very desirable date. This was beyond amazing to me – no boy had ever considered me interesting outside of class before – and I would have 4 dates a weekend. One on Friday night, One on Saturday afternoon, One on Saturday night, and one on Sunday afternoon. With 4 different boys. And for the record – no kissing until the third date!

Sunday night thru Friday afternoon – I was the model student – taking high level math and science classes, and for the first time discovering that there was history after the end of the civil war (for the record – that ended in 1865). I was raised in Atlanta Georgia – and that’s when our history classes deemed that history stopped. Surprise Surprise – it didn’t stop!

So between fending off boys (I took to hiding in libraries to be sure to get my studing done) and then going to parties all weekend – I was very busy.

I suppose this period is the closest I came to acting my age.

After I met Victor – things got really interesting in the ‘boy’ department. Victor was in the habit of waiting until the last minute before making a date – and I would be ‘taken’ long before. After several ‘I’m sorry, I can’t go out with you, I’m busy” conversations, he learned to book me ahead – and eventually we agreed to go steady. I think the crisis was ‘Homecoming Weekend 1967’ when I was the Princess from one fraternity – not Victor’s – and thus too busy to be with him. I think he asked me to go steady so that he could stop having to ask me out so far in advance.

But I still had to keep up my studies – but now I had to hide out in new places – and just from one boy! Fortunately, Victor pretty much hated libraries – and there were lots of smaller ones on campus that I don’t think he ever found. I was able to keep up my work weeks, play weekends lifestyle.

Then I spent my Junior Year Abroad. I choose to go to London to study Drama – which for a Math/Physics Major was a bit of a stretch. But the folks in the Drama department were ok with it, and while the Math Department got their knickers in a knot (I had to drop my double major), the Physics Department agreed to it. So – London, without my boyfriend, for a full year abroad.

This was, I admit, one of my favourite years (Fall of 68 to the Fall of 69)… and again – I wasn’t acting my age. I was interested in studying, getting good grades, visiting Museums and Art Galleries – and my Drama Department co-students thought me dull, boring, and not really a decent drama student. Push came to shove when I won a lottery to go behind the scenes at the Royal Vic and meet Sir Lawrence Olivier – then starring in Chekhov’s “Three Sisters”. Despite pressure to give up that opportunity to a ‘real’ drama student – I persisted in taking advantage of that win, a meeting I remember to this day.

My year aboard ended the way a year aboard for a square peg in a round hole must always end. I drove with my friends to Istanbul – then waved goodbye as they crossed into Asia on their way to India. I traveled alone by train and hitchhiking (ok – I was 20 – it seemed acceptable) back into ‘Europe’ and met up with a friend who I didn’t really know – but who wanted to do a bicycle trip thru the German speaking section of Romania. We met up in her university town – took our bicycles by train into Romania and spent 2 weeks or so biking from village to village. In those days (Summer 1969) the way you showed off your wealth was by the height of the manure pile in front of your house. I grew to love Lard Sandwiches – and we feasted off the garden crops of peas and green beans. One of the villagers bought my bra for her daughter for the equivalent of a weeks living money – and in a Youth Hostel in Czechoslovakia we swapped a $1 American bill for a day’s worth of food and lodging. Interesting times to visit behind the Iron Curtain.

I eventually made my way back to Paris, met up with my sister who flew in from the US, and we continued to wander thru France and eventually to England. We flew home from London – and while she returned back home to Atlanta and University – I went back to Tufts for my final year. Victor had meanwhile changed schools and was now at Cornell. Our plan was to see if we were still ‘an item’, and if so – I’d graduate and continue my schooling at Cornell – provided I could get accepted of course.

We did, I was – and we got married Sept 11, 1970. It’s 50 years and counting today…

Enough of this – bottom line – I’ve always persisted in being a tad different. I had my kids a bit later than other folks, I got married a lot earlier (I was 21 – Victor was 20), I was studious to the point of embarrassment to most of my peers, and when I got close to retirement – my friend ‘The Intrepid Traveler’ and I started our yearly trips to far off places. Not to be left out Victor and I did a fair amount of traveling too!

I’ve been to China, Mongolia, Taiwan, Hong-Kong, Japan, South Korea, Bali, France, Fez, Spain, Portugal, Germany, Russia, the Netherlands, England, Ireland, Scotland, Austria, Switzerland, Luxembourg, Malta, Liechtenstein, Vatican City, Belgium, Italy, Greece, Yugoslavia, Turkey, Israel, Amsterdam, South Africa, Kenya, Botswana, Rwanda, Zambia, Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe, Czechoslovakia, Greenland, Northern Quebec, Most of the US, Eastern and Western Canada, Venezuela, US Virgin Islands, Mexico, British Virgin Islands, Grand Cayman, Belize, Jamaica, Bermuda, Bahamas, Laos, Cambodia, Thailand, and Vietnam. I realize of course that traveling now is not the same – but I was young, I was keen – and I was willing to travel cheap. Mostly – I was lucky to have a friend willing to travel with me! And grateful to have a husband who also found travel interesting.

There are so many places that I loved at the time I was there that I couldn’t imagine going back to – my ‘roughing it’ ability is seriously suffering from concerns about where there’s going to be a clean toilet – but I would recommend doing it NOW – don’t wait till you are your age to travel. It’s never too late – and it’s always rewarding – Masks on for safety of course.

Enough of this trip down memory lane. It’s getting embarrassing. Bottom line – I’m not planning on acting my age any time soon… Get over it.

Signing off to think of something else crazy to do… Mask on of course – The Soup Lady

Day 170B – Happy New Year to All


How is this New Year different from all other New Years…

The Montreal Gazette just published a wonderful story talking about how the different Jewish Synagogues in the Montreal area are dealing with the challenges of the High Holy Days – when traditionally all Jews go to Synagogue – and the restrictions enforced here in Canada and Quebec by Covid-19

It’s a challenge. Synagogues that normally seat 2000 at this time of year are restricted to 25% or less – and given that we’ve actually had a lot of warning that this year wasn’t going to be like any other year – have gone to zoom and outdoor options.. Making the best of a bad deal.

So I thought I would share a link with you.

Click here

https://youtu.be/KijnnlVzREw

The song was written by Leonard Cohen – who was unabashedly Jewish, and the Synagogue featured is one of the most beautiful in Montreal – the Spanish and Portuguese.

It’s a beautiful and quite emotional appeal for all of us to search our lives and our souls asking if we’ve lived up to our potential as human beings – and asking us to make decisions on how to improve in the next year.

And for many – this is the raisin d’être of the High Holy Days… to force us to re-evaluate our lives.. to consider how we can be better family, better friends, better neighbors, better citizens..

Happy New Year

The Soup Lady

Day 166 – How do you celebrate 50 years of marriage?


Just to set matters straight.. We were married on Friday, September 11th, 1970.

Yes – I know – September 11. Not our fault. That date became infamous way after we were married – not fair really – a group of terrorists stole my anniversary date and made people think of something other than us..

For many years – because we were married on a Friday – Victor thought our anniversary was on September 13 (Friday the 13th) – but no… it’s Friday September 11, 1970. For sure.

6 months later, we went back to Atlanta to visit my parents – and Victor tried to return me. My dad told him – nope – warranty is up.

And on Friday, September 11, 2020 – it was 50 years…

Which is almost impossible for me to truly believe.

I was 21 when we got married. Hopelessly young and innocent and foolish and so much in love. I’m still in love you know – I adore my husband – ponytail and all.

I’m kinda hoping I’m no longer foolish and innocent – but I keep thinking that I’m still young..

Doomed to disappointment I’m afraid to say.

So just how does one celebrate 50 years of doing anything.. It’s a really long time. Way more than 1/2 my life. And here’s what really scary – longer than 80% (according to the US Census) of folks alive today have been alive!

Martin, the charming manager of Boneparte’s here in Montreal – where we celebrated our anniversary with an absolutely lovely dinner party for just 6 – annouced that he was born – BORN – the year we were married.

Our celebration – as most of our celebrations these days – was broken down into parts.. We celebrated in March in St. Croix – right as the COVID lock-down was happening with just our kids.. First time in over 20 years that it’s been just the 5 of us. It was really great – but the conversation centered around the COVID cases and how the world was going to react. We now know the answer – not great. But at the time.. we were a bit optimistic. Wrong – but positive.

Then we celebrated by traveling to send a lovely long Labor Day weekend in Barrie with our friends and Lucy and Lacy – the horses. It was a blast… a long drive each way – but worth it.

Then we had a wonderful dinner party at Boneparte’s – filled with laughter and gift giving and my kids and their kids.. Only Grover didn’t come, but the feeling was that perhaps the party would go on past his bed time. So we shared videos of him. He stayed home and went to bed on time. Probably better all around.

We got caught up on the lives of our two charming grand-daughters – who look more and more beautiful every time I see them. Their lives – like the lives of all kids from 13 to 21 these days are complicated by the truth of COVID. The youngest one is caught in a ‘bubble’ at school that doesn’t include her closest friends, and the older one is trying to have a relationship with a guy, be a young adult, start her working career – and dealing with idiots who refuse to wear masks, to social distance, to admit they are COVID positive, and thus put her life in danger.

I just don’t understand why people are so sure that their right to do what they want trumps the right of other people to feel safe. Why would any one who knows they are COVID positive not alert their friends. What is there to gain by not saying something. It confuses me.

As usual – I have digressed…

Back on track – Saturday afternoon we had a Zoom conversation with all the family – my daughter and grand-daughter in London (hubby was sick with a cold in bed – not Covid), my son and daughter-in-law in California, and my kids here in Montreal.

The we finished off with an equally splendid dinner party – period correct this time – which means we were dressed in our 1812 finest… Silver service, candles lit, music softly playing, amusing conversation, and No IT! Unfortunately for our hosts – their maid and butler had taken the day off (they always do when we come over… ) so while the service was excellent – it was our friends doing the service!

The meal celebrated our trips together. First course was a salmon tartar (yummy) with ground cherries. They are one of my favorite ‘fruits’ – which my friends only discovered when we were together in Quebec City. The 2nd course was a lobster Bisque with shrimp – we’d gone out to Boneparte’s – in period clothing – and three of the four of us ordered the Lobster Bisque… The 3rd course was Rabbit with Olives – in honor of our time together in Malta. The cheese course was again in memory of the Quebec City trip – we had cheese every evening before dinner in the ‘lounge’ area of our room in the BnB in Quebec City. And the desert course was a magnificent Charlotte Russe with a fruit topping. This was in honor of our times together at the Regimental Dinner parties in Vaudreuil.

The dessert was amazing. The dinner outstanding. The wines were well chosen to compliment the different dishes, and the conversation was delightful. We dragged ourselves out close to midnight – feeling very well feted indeed.

So this is how we have celebrated 50 years of being together.. And today is just another day – we’re headed off to buy fruit at Costco and the Marche near by – and having dinner together…

Life marches on… It’s 50 years and 2 days – if it lasts…

The Soup Lady

Day 156 – Our 50th Wedding Anniversary is upon us!


I got married on Friday, September 11, 1970. For years my husband remembered it as September 13.. because it was a Friday.

And for the record – we are still married. Which in and of itself feels like a record. So of course – I googled it!

We are still playing it ‘safe at home’ – so what else is there to do…

Turns out that – yup – it’s something of a record. Only 7% of American’s celebrate 50 years of marriage.

But upon further digging, it turns out that while I’m among a distinguished few that make it this far – it’s not really the record one might think. It isn’t really about being married… it’s about not dying.

According to a wonderful piece in a blog site called ‘Family Inequality’ the truth of the matter is more that neither of us died!

If you discount the folks that died, and the folks who are widowed – then you are left with the folks that got married married before 1971. And of those folks – who have the potential to celebrate 50+ years of marriage – fully 50% of us are still married.

So what does this mean. It means that folks that got married before 1971 thought we were getting married forever. We didn’t think of divorce as an option, it never even crossed our minds – or at least 50% of our minds… I guess the other 50% that didn’t die, did get divorced.

Bottom line – I’ve gotten to this milestone thru lucky genes (I didn’t die), lucky genes on my husband’s side (he didn’t die), and then I guess – because we never considered being anything other than married.

One other important factor – not to embarrass my kids or my readers – we still find each other very appealing physically. We also share a lot of history, but have our own unique interests and hobbies. We can let each other go on trips without being jealous (too jealous anyway), and rest comfortable in the knowledge that they will return. We give each other space… and a place to be separate inside our home. We forgive each other when we must – if not immediately, then eventually – and almost always before bedtime. We try hard to find the positive stuff – to not get bored when stories get repeated, but to enjoy them re-told and often mis-told. We are still in love.

I’m still happy every morning when I wake up and say ‘Good Morning Honey’.

My daughter-in-law just reminded me that when they got married – I told her that marriage is a 60-60 relationship – you must always feel that you are giving the bigger portion. If both of you feel that way – the marriage will work.

How are we celebrating this milestone? Are we having a big party or taking a fancy holiday? Well in the days of COVID-19 – the quick answer is – of course not.

We’re lucky in that we’re in Montreal, and the better restaurants are open under COVID-19 restrictions and taking it very very seriously. So we’re going out to dinner with the kids who live here in the city. It won’t be a fancy party – but it will be our style. Comfortable and happy.

Signing off to figure out what dress to wear (not really) … The Soup Lady

A Farmer’s Prayer – or Looking at things a little differently


This morning my wonderful daughter-in-law forwarded a story of a visiting pastor who attended a men’s breakfast in the middle of a rural farming area of the country.

The group had asked an older farmer, decked out in bib overalls, to
say grace for the morning breakfast

“Lord, I hate buttermilk,”the farmer began. The visiting pastor opened
one eye to glance at the farmer and wonder where this was going.

The farmer loudly proclaimed, “Lord, I hate lard.” Now the pastor was
growing concerned.

Without missing a beat, the farmer continued, “And Lord, you know I
don’t much care for raw white flour.”

The pastor once again opened an eye to glance around the room and saw
that he wasn’t the only one to feel uncomfortable.

Then the farmer added, “But Lord, when you mix them all together and
bake them, I do love warm fresh biscuits.

So Lord, when things come up that we don’t like, when life gets hard,
when we don’t understand what you’re saying to us, help us to just
relax and wait until you are done mixing. It will probably be even
better than biscuits. Amen.

“Within that prayer there is great wisdom for all when it comes to
complicated situations like we are experiencing in the world today.

Stay strong, my friends, because our Lord is mixing several things
that we don’t really care for, but something even better is going to come when God is done with it. AMEN!

Signing off to count her own blessing – and wonder at the mystery of the universe of things that aren’t nice alone (like Buttermilk) but in the end make great biscuits.

The Soup Lady

Narita – Worth staying at least 2 nights!


Most folks just pass thru Narita on their way to Tokyo or Kyoto – If they sleep even one night in town, it’s to rest up after their flight – and then to quickly race off to other parts of Japan.

But that’s not fair to Narita. It’s a very famous place in it’s own right! One of Japan’s most famous and most often visited pilgrimage sites is right here in Narita – the Naritasan Shinshoji temple.

This is a huge complex – dating back to the beginning of Buddhism here in Japan – and is well worth a long visit. Particularly special is their three times a day services in the main hall. These feature some amazing drumming – and were very very different from the services we saw in Koyasan.

This temple has been performing a Goma (fire burning) ritual every day for over 1000 years. No matter what your religious affliction – that’s a lot of devotion!

And I had to see it. So we got organized, left our absolutely lovely Air BnB lodging, and went to Temple.

The service started with a brief introduction in Japanese – to a congregation of almost 500 people. There were 4 sections of participants. two large groups kneeling quite near the center alter on the right and left, a much larger group kneeling in front of the altar, and then the senior group. We were sitting on benches that ran along the back wall – with a good view and no kneeling required.

I expected something similar to the morning prayers in Koyasan – but what happened was very different. The service started with the entry of the monks – about 10 of them in formal attire. The main monk seated himself in front of the altar, the gong rang out in the courtyard, the lights dimmed, and a monk sounded a single, extremely loud, Thump on the giant Taiko Drum. That started the service. The monks said some prayers that clearly the gather congregants knew, and then there was some gong ringing and drumming. Suddenly a huge fire burst out in front of the main monk. We were blocked by his body from the bottom of the flame, but the top was easily a body length above his head. This was a signal for everyone to get up and line up to the right and left of the altar.

The Intrepid Traveller and I tried to decide in our own minds, what they might be doing. Comparing notes I thought they were going to do confession, the Intrepid Traveler thought that they were going to a lesson or communion. But it turns out they weren’t doing either. They were handing bags and purses and personal belongings to the helper monks, who were bringing these items to the altar and exposing them – briefly – to the flames.

We had read up on the Goma ritual – and the idea is that the flames represent the wisdom of the Buddha of Unmoving Knowledge – and they burn away the root causes of your suffering. Bu exposing your belongings to the fire, you are allowing the wisdom of the Buddha to impact your life.

Obviously as soon as I realized this was what was happening, I got up with my backpack and joined the line.

After the service ended – folks again lined up – this time to run their hands along a staff that ran in front of the main Buddha. We never figured out why they did this – but it’s been happening for a really long time. The staff was carefully wrapped in ropes to prevent it from being worn away by hundreds of hands, multiple times a day.

Great Service, very interesting Temple, lovely walking meditation garden. This shrine was a definite winner.

We did also had an incidence of ‘Japanese nabbing’. I left the Intrepid Traveller alone for just a minute – and when I got back, she had disappeared. Two older Japanese ladies had grabbed her and forced her to go with them into the tea room for a cup of tea. They spoke no English, so she felt the polite thing to go was to go with with them.

While she was being polite, I spent several anxious minutes wondering where she’d gone when she finally re-appeared to explain that she just had to drink the offered tea – it would have been rude to have refused.

Lunch was in a traditional Eel house. It turns out that Narita is famous for it’s ell restaurants – they are the preferred food of pilgrims – health restoring and considered beneficial after a long trek. And the Eel restaurants in Narita have been serving this dish for over a hundred years. We sat down in a traditional looking restaurant, but with a hole for your legs – no kneeling unless you wanted to – and ordered a meal of eel to share.

It was delicious – and the tea (both hot and cold) was unlimited and free. We were the only westerner’s in the place – it was packed with Japanese – so you know it’s the right place. Delightful meal – and a great way to end our trip to Japan. Tomorrow we are heading for home.

A note on shopping in Narita. We happened into the two largest grocery stores we’ve seen in Japan here in Narita. The land is clearly cheaper – and the shoppers clearly either locals or pilgrims to the shrine – not a foreigner in site.

The sushi selection in the 2nd of the grocery stores we found was unreal. So fresh, so beautiful and so reasonably price. $5.00 Canadian ($6.00 US) got you a platter of at least 8 different sushi option. And need we say delicious?

We are so glad we opted to spend two nights in Narita. It’s a really cool spot – well worth visiting. If you come – check out the Aeon Mall – and buy the sushi. And of course – have at least one eel dinner.

Signing off to get our selves to the airport – our flight home awaits.

The Soup Lady and the Intrepid Traveler